Time is of essence. Time heals all wounds. Time will make you grow wiser and that is why we don’t under estimate the wisdom nuggets from our ancestors. Maturity though comes with experience not age.This blog isn’t about a story but experiences. preaching my sermon through my own life experiences and what I have seen happen. Quarter life crisis hit me hard. As the girl next door, lets talk.
There’s an African proverb that says, when you don’t have patience then you cant make beer. I have come to learn the essence of time through bitter experiences like time. patience is a virtue they say, what they didn’t say though is that it isn’t for the faint heart. At some point my life was fast paced …having a degree at 21 and one day you wake up and time has gone by but you cant explain if it was worth it in the first place. Everyone seemed to be moving but me. Comparison is poison and you learn to deal with it over time because what awaits the successful is only upon them and the Lord. To anyone who has lost hope, remember, kutangulia sio kufika. For the sun to rise, we must go through stillness of the dark and then it blooms. For a baby to be born, it takes a whole nine months. For you to feed, you must first plant, nurture and wait. Even when you plant, there is no certainty that your plant will bloom, a farmer only has to trust and believe that they’ll harvest despite the challenges. Faith is believing that you will see your child through University and see your second generation but how do they grow? Not over night. Honestly its not for the faint hearted and its easier said than done but honey, you are breathing, God isn’t finished with you yet. Patience is reading through the stories of every character in the bible or Quran/seerah for you to see that Gods plans are mightier than your own. Faith is reading through the story of Joseph and believing that Gods plans are mightier than ours. Believing that storms can rage and through it all there’s God. patience is the story of Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Jacob, Israelite’s because the old testament is rich with deep content. In your period of waiting, as long as you are healthy please know that every single person walking is waiting upon something even if they don’t show. Stupid is believing things on the gram.
If God wants your attention, believe me He will get it. A good example is Chris Kirubi,(Kenyan business mogul) cancer made him aware that there is God. Honestly you will be tested with difficulties and loss but your faith has to be strong. You have to be still and believe there’s God because scientists can only tell us how but never why. At this point in life I have turned that you allow God to fight your battles. Before telling friends/people your problems how about you talk to your maker, cry to your maker and obey your creator. Pray and let it be intentional. As the girl next door, darling work on your relationship with God. Let it be solid because there are seasons that its only God that covers you. Seek God first and all other things will be added unto you. I never promised it will be easy but it’ll be worth it. What if you are where you are today because of your mamas prayers? pass on the button to your generation as if this is a relay race.
Love, love and love again. The idea is however much you’ve been hurt before, love again but ensure that the other person isn’t a rebound. Love is a beautiful thing but sadly, sweetheart everyone will hurt you at some point. “Truth is, everyones gonna hurt you but you gotta know which ones are worth fighting for.” If you give your spouse the power of your joy, lets just say the movie ‘pursuit to happiness by William Smith’ will be your go to. This is a generation where people are jaded and are carrying baggage like daddy issues unknowingly but hey, fix you. If it comes, let it…if it goes also let it. Erotic relations I have learnt can end without warning. Today you’ll mean everything to someone and tomorrow you are replaced but I have learnt that you forgive these people whether they asked for apology or not. From other peoples experiences I have learnt that you can be perfect but not to someone who isn’t in the same page with you. When you give someone the power to love you, remember you also give them the power to hurt you and that’s why love, joy and happiness should come from you. This is a generation where we copy and paste someone eases idea of being loved yet its meant to have its own ingredients. People will love you and support you when its beneficial. Learn to know if its toxic from the beginning and get out because the world has changed, there’s no longer value for life. please hunny love you first, seek God and all things will be added unto you. Everything remember is wabisabi– incomplete, impermanent and inconsistent….especially humans. Feelings change, people change.
work relationships are just that. get your money , be nice to colleagues and go home.
Not everyone is happy for you so be careful of friends but sadly you’ll only distinguish chaff from cereal when you hit rock bottom.
Family is what got you when everything crumbles down. Family is like roots to a tree. My mum is my pillar of strength, my ride or die and my siblings. In family also, there’s toxicity and it doesn’t mean that if people are toxic and sucking he energy out of you, you should keep them. Choose those who only choose you even if you aren’t blood related, that’s now the definition of family. If this was chemistry then we would equate it to metallic bonds. At some point in life nothing will make sense and you need people to hold you down even if its just one soul. Your strongest support system is your family.
5. Boys vs Men.
Age doesn’t mean anything but the level of maturity does. I have learnt through peoples experiences that if a man doesn’t love you, don’t search for affirmations but read their actions. How they treat you is exactly how they feel about you. Jacob loved Racheal but was given Leah. He had to work 7 more years to get what he wanted. Leah thought he would trap Jacob into loving him by giving birth to sons but still that wasn’t enough. The point is, if a man loves you he would do anything to have you, to make you his better half and they never hesitate to say they are ready to come home and meet your parents. The stupidity of trapping a guy by getting pregnant was there. You can’t be committed to flesh and uncommitted to the soul. This is a simple species, read between the lines. If you feel unwanted that’s it. If you feel you are trying too hard, that’s it. The heart wants what it wants and he will find you. Whats yours will find you. If a guy wants to cheat that’s a choice. Men though why would you arouse a woman’s emotions without the intention of loving them? A species that will confuse you between love and lust. love and lust coexist within a person. Be wise…if you agree to settle for temporary pleasures, sweetie stick to that lane. No cuddles for you, just uber money. WHEN A BOY TALKS OF LOVE heres a link to one of the pieces.
Its relevant. One mans treasures is another mans trash. You should never be envious of anyone’s progress. Wish them well and stick to your lane. Someones version of success is getting married to a rich man and that’s an accomplishment to them. Fine, they might get these men but who guaranteed you that the rich don’t cry? Success comes but with time. Trust the process. An uber driver once told me, “if you see a guy with too much at a very young age, analyze his days on earth because they are shorter as compared to someone with a compelling difficult story.” “He who runs after good fortune runs away from peace.” Too much comes with a price and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
This year is to de-clutter. Choose only those who choose you. Takers don’t have limits and as a giver, have some self respect. Choose friends who choose you, family members who embrace you. If you feel like you are trying too hard and its not reciprocated then you probably are so de-clutter. Minimalism is better than clogging. At the end of the day its Twalha, God , family and a very small circle. From experience… you probably have a 100+ contacts but if right now life goes south, you can’t call all the the people in your list but there are people who will certainly show up, get you and lift you up in the valley.
BE YOUR OWN SENTINEL.
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