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Have you ever seen an old man with a one pack in a club surrounded by young ladies enough to be his daughters and the man would be dancing aimlessly and smiling carelessly while nodding? The old man would be encouraging the young ladies to drink up and while the ladies would jump to a new tune of modern music of the Y generation factor, this man would forget his senses and nod in amusement pretending to also know the song when all he knows is rhumba, probably (madilu system and Franco). The man listens to Nviiri the storyteller or gengetone and he raises his bottle to “Kesi baadaye “. This is called the mid life crisis. Sugar mummies suddenly dress like their daughters in tights and crop tops and sugar daddies can shop for hush puppies loafers and dance to gengetones. What did these people surely do when their peers wore belly buttons and hipster style as they went for discos. It could be they missed a stage because some of them settled way earlier before they blossomed to who they really are or they were hustling so much because apparently most of our parents and grandparents had a very rough life. Now that they have the money and less time, they want to fit in this time machine and experience what they were supposed to have experienced 3 decades prior.

Quarter life crisis is experienced from 20s down to around 35 when you aren’t tagged a youth . This is the stage where everything is fast paced and it’s hard to find a bearing and anchor. This is the stage where the job you swore would just be a stepping stone for a couple of months is your job 3 years later. Instagram has photos full of weddings and babies, some even baby no.2 and you have none. In fact settling down isn’t even in your list. This is a stage where you want to move out from home but much as you may have succeeded to do so, that side hustle will not break even as soon as you wanted it to. Due to transition, friends will be scarce but that is just growth. There is no time for small talk. The circle will be smaller and if it’s big we can bet they don’t know what your pillow knows. This is a stage where every guy who has money would rather get a car loan and go for road trips. Those without source of income and cars would withdraw and cower measuring success with what they don’t have.

Tori is a business lady who owns a boutique in town,Nairobi. A happy person and she is a pace setter. She got married at 23 and due to violence she got a divorce by 26 years and this was the beginning of her growth. She sells clothes and business was booming. Tall, chocolate and chilled when need be. She had a daughter who was a year old by the time she got divorced. Tori would party daily and she would cry in her car more than usual while smoking a joint. This isn’t something her friends knew because we choose what people would see. More days nursing hangovers and hence more days of not opening her stall. Everything crumbled down when she closed her business and had to sell her car at 28. She had to move back home and the friends she had were too cold for comfort. Depression got in the way and Tori needed help. Life has a way of humbling someone to an extent of seeking none other but God. Her daughter had to be raised by Tori’s mother and her baby daddy had remarried. Child support cash had decreased then cut off completely and this is always the trend.

A couple of sessions and she was getting better . She came out stronger with lessons learnt. She learnt that it’s okay when everyone gives you advise to start your business but know that it takes approximately 6-7 years to break even. That is why most Indians are business moguls but its generational. Family business can’t be compared to a start up. It’s hard because most times you’ll use your own money to sustain the business. It’s okay if you get tired and it’s okay not to be okay. We are in different generations and how older people viewed marriage isn’t the same as 2020 with so much empowerment going on. Be happy if everyone else is settling but you’d rather stay single and marry right than rush and marry wrong because either way you’ll still settle down at some point. It isn’t a guarantee that marriage will work but May God be the apex in the triangle. Comparison is the detriment of disaster because you will crush. Dear reader, if life is just smooth sailing for you then question yourself because there must be equilibrium. A point where you view life from a different angle. A gold can’t be polished without friction nor man perfected without trials.

Money is good as it makes life comfortable but then have a spirit of gratitude to be grateful to have what money can’t buy e.g health. Friends come and go please learn that whoever want to leave, his /her purpose in your life is over. Master the art of letting go. Anything toxic let it go. Quarter life crisis is real and what you have , someone else doesn’t have and that’s okay. Much as you’re struggling to find your soulmate ,someone is struggling to conceive. Whatever comes, let it and whatever leaves let it. Blessings sometimes are in what leaves. If only you could see the trailer of what you’re choosing to hold onto, I’m sure you’d drop it without looking back. Don’t miss stages in life because mid life crisis is severe. Feeling lost, anxious ,scared is a feeling that most people have. You won’t be broke forever, you won’t be single forever but after its all said and done, choices have consequences. You choose the father of your child or their mother. It’s okay not to be okay. Surely, when blessings rain, may it pour.

Thank you so much for reading. Please share and follow.

“Some feel the rain while others get wet .” Bob Marley. I have never seen him in this state of excruciating pain before and it was sad that there was absolutely nothing I could do to ease the pain. The thing about pain is that only you can feel it even when everyone else is sympathetic, pain demands to be felt. Feel the pain and you’ll heal. A man will feel disappointed in life either if he lets down his family by lack of providence or betrayal from the woman he loves. “The baby unfortunately is….”

Ethan is a man I have mentioned before. The link to this story is https://twally.co.ke/mr-subaru-guy/. The guy who loves cars, parties and ladies but got smitten by a rare breed. He called me on this slow Sunday mid morning while I was reading A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS BY KHALED HOSSEINI. I remember I was in chapter 30 and I was intrigued by the awesomeness of the writer. My Sundays are normally chilled and easy so I choose to spend more time with family and my books. He told me he’s at our gate and I could tell from the stutter of his voice that he’s tipsy and something was off. I couldn’t imagine it being another prank because of the seriousness of his voice. I was in black sweat pants and a T-shirt so I went outside hurriedly.

Ethan was in a bad state. Shaggy unkempt hair, had a bottle of Jack Daniels on the passenger seat and he’d worn black shades for some reason. I go towards the drivers door to say hi and he just said ” Twally I can’t take it anymore. Everything is crushing right in front of me.” I remove his shades and his eyes were beetroot red either because of lack of sleep or liquor but on second thought, he could have been crying. This is one of the most vibrant people I know. He gets into a room and he illuminates joyful ambience. Everything about him is a happy soul . I invite him inside the house but he declines so I tell him to give me a minute I change and put myself together so that I can drive him.

We exchange seats and I drive him although he hates it when I’m on the wheel because I’m too cautious (slow). I play some music just because the mood is tense but the minute I reversed the car, he started crying and he said that the DNA results were out. What do you do when a man sheds painful tears and out of everyone they could have talked to, they choose you ? I couldn’t even tell him to pray and I Chose to pray for him instead there and then and I drove off. I play Tupac and he starts singing along to ‘dear mama’ and in chorus we all sing along “the plan is to show you that I understand.” He drank too much until I had to take the bottle from him. I was honestly driving with no sense of direction and my co -driver didn’t seem to care at all.

I pulled over at Masai lodge because of serenity. I needed to listen to what a broken man had to say but by the time we arrived he was asleep. I went in and ordered food because it takes some time for nyamachoma (roasted beef) to be ready and I let him sleep in the car. When the food was ready he was up and he was a bit better. We have lunch and he says ” men are in bars because of women. I loved this chic Twally but she fooled me. Do you remember the first time I introduced you to her at sarit ? ” I nod with this faint expression. ” This chic bana has been fooling me. You know I once caught her with this guy from the office and their body language was just off. How do you explain that your colleague has his forehead pressed on yours and you’re in the office. I had f***ng gone to the office to take her for lunch because I was in Westlands that day.” I nod attentively but busy munching becauseI wasn’t going to have cold food plus I’m a fast eater.

“Did you question her about it ?” He looked at me aimlessly as if trying to remember if he actually did. ” Imagine I had let it slide. I called her phone and told her to turn and when she saw me she was uneasy as hell. We left but that day was awkward because it was less talk and more panic at least for her. I guilt tripped her with silence.” I interject and I tell him that if something is off talk about it and solve it instantly. ” I developed trust issues with her when I saw the same guy dropping her off at my place in the morning on a Saturday because they were out partying as a department. She had said it was a work thing. This mama lied that she had ordered an uber. I told her that the guy looks familiar and she caused tantrums saying she doesn’t cheat.” At this point I had cleared my plate and he was halfway there so I suggested that he should eat. ” When you’re taken for dates you finish before the guy? Don’t embarrass men like this .” I laughed it off by saying I’m actually fast.

I could feel that he was getting better after he cleared round two. And had a litre of keringet bottle. Talk to me …enhe…” the office overtime hours became longer for her. She was just missing in action almost all weekends and I would chill with the boys more instead. Maze this whole time I chose not to play her though there were fly chics after me. You know when you get into a relationship that’s when people are on your case more?” I agree. When you’re single the phone is dry…immediately you try something with someone the forbidden fruit tastes sweet. ” I had decided to change my ways completely but I started questioning if I want a woman who party’s so much as my wife. The day I wanted to call it quits is the day she tells me she’s pregnant.” “Were you excited?” I ask. ” For some reason Tee I wasn’t but I loved her. I chose to look at it from an angle of divine alignment. God wanted us to make things work. She moved in to my place and my family went to their place and I paid dowry. ” He broke down until he couldn’t talk for a while and he said ” when she gave birth to my son I was happy. I was doubting Thomas because the other guy from her work visited us so often when she was on maternity leave. My instinct was uncertain about the situation. Last week on Friday just when the baby turned six months she said she wants to go out with her colleagues. Sasa how do I baby sit when the mother is out ? (Rhetoric question) . I snapped and we had a heated argument then she bluntly said she’s not even sure I’m the father to Jay.”

“It was a night of terror Tee. ” I have never seen a man shed tears but betrayal is a knife that targets the heart, the soul and the body. ” So she suddenly became apologetic and I was there shocked as my heart palpitated. These are things you hear from other people or watch on paternity court or just movies in general. I am scarred. I am a wounded man. ” I felt his pain but I was numb to react too. ” So I drove off to get some air and I slept at my boys’ bachelor pad at Milimani. The following morning I found a note that she had gone to her folks place . She asked us to get a DNA test and my suspicions about the colleague was true. He was the other potential father. Today the results are out and I feel so lost.”

I dropped him home later in the evening then I took an uber from there and headed back home. How many relationships look so perfect but with so many dark secrets? How many guys are raising other people’s children? How many wounded men walk in these cold streets with no one to talk to? The DNA results shook us both. Men choose wisely.

Thank you so much for reading.

“Honestly Twally I’m at the point where if someone asked me if I’m okay I would just smile because I never wanted to lie and if I was being honest then I would just cry instead. ” This is a statement made by a close friend and funny thing is I knew exactly what she meant. Having many close friends who are boys is cool but the girlfriends I have are prime movers and this one was one of them. Denise is a woman full of potential, impeccable character and lovely. She is charming, well educated, and could speak 5 languages. To be honest I am rarely intimidated but she does intimidate me. She isn’t so tall but as compared to who exactly? If I compare her to Mitchelle Obama of course she was short. Light skinned with long curly hair and not thick and not slim either. Let’s just say she is medium and curvy. We were meeting up not to talk about business as this is the term used to show seriousness. We had planned to catch up on lost days because it had been close to two years since we met as she was out of the country to pursue her master’s degree.

We are seated at Java while we waited for two guys ( it had to be men) to join us because it was a camaraderie kind of thing. Amos and Joel were always together and they are tech gurus. Those guys who dress up in jeans, tshirt , long -sleeved untucked shirt and rubbers. They always have a back pack for some reason and a hoodie is always in these bags as if it’s a slogan dress code for tech guys. DISCLAIMER ! Know how to dress and know what suits you because this tech look isn’t for all men. Thirty minutes later they show up and Amos being so hyped up as usual , he hugs us with this smiley face and grin that makes you warm. Joel was chilled, actually awefully chilled. The four of us decide to switch to Kilimanjaro just next to Java (kimathi street) because Denise wanted chicken biryani and well …we could all do Swahili cuisine. All these three seemed to be doing so well in life until everyone begun opening up about their experiences and some were really sad but the tone and how they put it was funny so we would laugh at situations that weren’t so laughable. I have become this lady that would listen more and for some reason I get attracted to deep stories. Denise lives in Lavington and she drives. Her red Lexus was parked just outside the new artcaffè and we could see it clearly from the balcony of Kilimanjaro restaurant . Denise is exposed and she “thrives” as we all thought because thriving is relevant to an individual. Joel is a chilled guy who laughs a lot but rarely talks about his life much. His life is a mystery although he is very trust worthy because you can tell him anything but maybe his walls don’t have ears. Amos is a parrot and an open book who doesn’t shy from talking about his life in details. Denise can talk depending on how comfortable she feels and this particular day she talked much.

Four young people in a world that seems cruel to them because they are striving to make it in a legit way. There are short cuts as we all discussed while having dessert. I had a cocktail juice when everyone else seemed to crave for passion . It could be passion in terms of ambition and emotion or it could be passion for the juice itself …it’s more of hyperbole. The short cut as Denise suggested was that a woman could get an older man in his sixties because all they want is companionship but no relationship isn’t about give or take so the girl would get her bills paid and I mean all including the full fuel tank. Nothing would stop a man from going to an older woman ( sugar mummy) and he would get away with anything he ever wanted but there is a price to pay. The price is you excite the older woman physically and emotionally and she would sort you financially and maybe you get an upgrade of calling your neighbor guy friend ” my guy your guy” at kilimani or milimani but let’s upgrade to Runda. It’s Possible to move to Runda because the ‘mama‘ wouldn’t feel comfortable driving to Githurai ( no pun intended). The four of us realized that we are brilliant academically but Amos was both book smart and street smart. Most people who are street smart are intimidated by book smart people but kindly may they learn to draw the line.

Our food was brought to the table and for some reason food unites people. Do you know how grumpy people become when they are hungry? Joel decides to even remove his glasses, perhaps so that he would see the bones clearly or it’s the excitement of Swahili cuisine. “Heeey so Joel what’s new with you?” Denise asks. His response ” misery!”. It’s clichè putting the blame on covid-19 but it is what is . He talks about how he just lost his job but since he’s into IT he does coding and networking here and there but he’s not paid rent for two months. He bites his chicken and munches while fidgeting. ” Twaly nipe pesa bana. I’ve seen your new website and chic you’re doing well. Whoever created your website wasn’t playing tomfoolery”. I nod with a smile because of this assumption. Denise is a modest rich kid who’s parents are always unavailable and to be honest she has practically been raised by a house help. She became rebellious and withdrawn and this is a character that now describes her perfectly. She’s a complete freak but isn’t everyone a freak in their own kind? Amos being quiet interjects and this time the food is almost half. Have you ever seen people who are eating but you rarely find them chewing because they are talking most of the time although if you look at their plate they are actually eating . Amos ends up saying that life is tough and everyone is allowed to express their thoughts and blaming the pandemic is valid.

“What’s up with you Denise?” Same response…. “misery. Got a masters from States and even my well connected dad is having difficulty helping me out. Dad is sick and mum well… she’s just her. These guys are on the verge of divorce or they just got comfortable never talking to each other like strangers. Nothing is going on in their marriage and I am lonely because all my relationships seem to fail. I want something real and not something where you have someone but they still feel lonely at your presence. I want someone to see me not physically but in my soul. I want something that you described on one of your blogs Twaly. I think it’s the midnight thoughts.” We all feel her pain because we all realize that no one wants to play around with our time. Joel raises a concern though that he’s looking for a wife material type of woman but it goes hand in hand with financial stability. Posing a question on Denise and I ” if a guy is broke like literally dead broke and you expect him to take you out and spoil you but you can see that this guy is struggling with life, would you still say yes to this type.” It’s easy to say love is all that matters but honestly marry when you know you can provide for your family. Marry when you know you can afford a meal a day if not three. At the end of the day you are a man and your role is to provide and you’ll only feel secure when you know that there’s a warm plate in the evening after a long day of hustle. Look at it however you want but even biblically and Islamically (shariah law) that’s the rule. Nothing is guaranteed because even your own spirit isn’t sure about what tomorrow holds. You could provide today but maybe tomorrow it’s a whole different turn of events.

In our discussion and by this time our table was clear but no one seemed to be in a hurry, I got to realize that this is an age where we are struggling but in different forms. Denise seemed to be struggling emotionally and she was wounded in her own accord. Family issues affect people so much unnoticeably. Amos and Joel were young men who were struggling but on face value their light wouldn’t dim. Sometimes the people who smile the most are the people who’s stories are told by their soaked pillows. The heart cries but to some the eyes shed in the showers or in a dark room . People will show you what the world wants to see because more often than not very few people care. I have my struggles too and the growing pains are intense. I yearn for success but sometimes it feels like one step closer to it is another ten steps back. It’s not easy of course but as compared to who’s life exactly? Let’s face it that everyone has a manual to your life but no draft to theirs. We decide to drive away and that’s when Joel speaks up that he just went through a hard break up and he needs some time off from everything and everyone. Amos discloses that he actually has a sugar mummy and that we shouldn’t judge him. He believes he’s in love with a 57 year old woman who has 4 kids but the husband is filthy wealthy although emotionally unavailable. I pause and say that there’s no time a man will be unavailable and expect the woman not to get recognition from somewhere else. A man who wouldn’t see his woman or kids like priority but is busy chasing paper would end up losing the family unit because this life must have balance. A guy doesn’t even recognize his woman’s dress code should know that someone will tap this woman in the office and tables will turn where she’ll be neat for the man who recognizes her. Amos and this lady if I’m not judging are just victims of circumstance because what happens when you are lonely you being human? Amos though is a man who needs bills paid in a country where graduates are hawking and getting into trivial deals. The age between 25-35 is crucial with so many hard knocks but in your 20s make mistakes with no regrets. It’s a confusing age and maybe I need not look at Amos with a rear view eye.

Denise decides to be our designated driver but first we stopped somewhere to buy stuff and the group became more merry. We all give our takes on various issues and it felt nice knowing that things always sort themselves out. God will never leave you nor forsake you. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you now and God will never disappoint you. Just like the sunrise and the sunset God is always on time. Covid 19 is a pandemic that has strived up reactions globally and we all realized that health is crucial. In my blog What if… I posed a question that what if we are busy chasing success but we end up so depressed and you realize that health and peace of mind can never be substituted for anything in this world? In the car we had to play good music and we decided to let things be the way they would be. Qui Serra Serra (what will be, will be) . It’s easier said than done and that’s why these are just growing pains. Everything falls into place in due time and it’s okay not to be okay but nothing is worth it at the expense of your health.

This is a group of 4 young adults who were experiencing so much. I realized that someone might be okay financially but damaged emotionally. Someone else might be so happy but has so many troubles in life like not even paying bills . Someone else might be so chilled and closed up but making big mistakes in this life. Someone else might be okay due to assumptions but struggling in every aspect (financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically) . Denise sorted Amos with the 2 month rent arrears. Miracles happen when you least expect them to in the daily interactions you make. Everything happens for a reason but brace changes and seasons. When a baby is born , the environment isn’t all rosy but messy. When the baby starts to walk he/ she falls a couple of times but we celebrate it however many times it falls. When a baby grows teeth it’s not easy and so many challenges are faced in the process. The point is, when there’s growth there is the aspect of hardship. God promises that when there is hardship comes ease.

Thank you for reading . Make mistakes and fall as many times as you can… it’s okay. Only the people that matter will help you rise other than that, nothing is worth losing your peace of mind for.p Anything that takes away your peace of mind is too expensive.

See Also

Truth is, I have been wandering since the onset of this pandemic. I’m not alone in this for sure but it is what it is. One minute we were all jubilant about 2020 and the next minute everything comes cruhing down. Isn’t this life’s mystery though? Pausing unknown when the sky is clear. What if all of us would be given a trailer in dreams just before we make any decisions in life? This blog is more of breaking the ice. It’s been a minute.

What if before you joined University you’d be given a clear picturesque of your life post graduation. Would you have gone to school at all or would you have changed courses or you would have gotten connections just for assurance that things would be better immediately you re given the power to read more.

What if before getting into that relationship you were shown the future that you’ll be someone’s slave or punching bag prior to you u crying while saying your vows? Not even a chi can understand this. What if the person you have been dating for five years changes his mind about you and marries someone he/she has known for five weeks? What if the person you are supposed to marry is the best thing that could happen to you or turned out to be a psychopath? Supposing indeed you get married and you realize there are issues of impotence or sterility and you are left after a couple of years of trying, would you have chosen him/her? What if your spouse got sick immediately after your honey moon and it’s a terminal illness would you have chosen that path? What about infidelity considering how the society has normalized having side chicks….if your spouse was the same person who would write your death sentence by bringing about HPV which would turn to cervical cancer would you have chosen that path?

What if the job you have been dreaming to have is the same job that would make you see the doors of jail because you misread a contract or you signed something under duress and that would change your life completely ? What if before the pandemic you realized that your job was just a platform for you to have bread on your table but other than that no one really cares about you and your colleagues will never be anything more especially when it comes to survival. What if someone told you that jobs are just temporary and nothing to brag about because today you have it and tomorrow you don’t

what if you were given a trailer to know exactly how you’ll die and when? Would you relive every second like mending broken relationships or living accordance to the word of God. I’m sure you’ll magnify your life and it would have meaning. 

What if the car you purchased, that beast that you keep telling your so called friends about a road trip about was the same one that would kill you? What if the man you call babe and posting him every now and then while showing tongues would be a dead beat dad in future? You would definitely leave him the moment he said hello. What if the promotion you are yearning for would cause you depression because of intense pressure? What if the lady that shows you love and affection is the right one for you but you replace her with the one that will be cause of your permanent misfortunes? What if everything you’re going through will end tomorrow just when you wake up and you feel hopeless right now? So please don’t end it I.e life .

what if you had to go through heart ache so that the right one for you would find you. God can’t give you what you deserve if you hold on to what’s not yours so let go. What if restoration is the next minute when you get a call that will change the rest of your life? What if the baby you aborted was the only baby you’d ever get? What if the loan you took a business for wouldn’t be easy to pay, and your business would flop …would you have tried it? What if you can’t repay the loan because situations are getting hard? 

What if you get ill or your loved one gets ill and you can’t feel their pain because only the victim will feel it ? What if your close friends are the ones who would betray you like Judas because remember the closest ones are the most risky. What if you’ll lose friends when you hit rock bottom? Truth is everyone who has suffered a loss or defeat will have a parting shot like “all my friends left me.” Truth is you’ll hit rock bottom because tests of life must be there because you’ll be tested with health, wealth or loss.

Isnt it ironic how comedians are the most depressed people. Good example, Churchill (laugh industry) most of the comedians are battling unexplained depression. Fame is fleeting just like beauty but we all want it not knowing that it projects success but who really comes into your life if not for worldly pleasures? Who comes into your life because they see through your soul? 

My point: life is limbo. No one knows what the future holds just like no one would imagine the intensity of this pandemic. Today you’re accepted in your country but tomorrow you are a persona non grata in another. Every time you feel lost and empty please remember to whom you belong. The one who took care of you and formed you in your mothers womb is the one you should consult in all your dealings because life gets easier that way. For example when you get a proposal right now pray and ask God to grant it success if it’s meant to be but to remove it if it’s not meant t be and feedback you’ll get . Hold on to the one who says Be and it is. Hang in there right now because this is a global pandemic that has affected everyone one way or the other. Loss of jobs, loss of lives…depression. Observing the pilgrimage in Makkah ( hajj) for the first time can’t happen. 

If all I’ve stated above would end tomorrow and the sun would smile at you would you be better and live with purpose? Treat people with kindness because a cow that praises a butcher today just because the butcher slaughtered another cow today would not praise him if the cow knew that it would suffer the same fate in the evening. Pray more to the one who changes situations in seconds and hold on even when you feel tired. This life….is but limbo.

please share and thanks for reading.

 

 

Time is of essence. Time heals all wounds. Time will make you grow wiser and that is why we don’t under estimate the wisdom nuggets from our ancestors. Maturity though comes with experience not age.This blog isn’t about a story but experiences. preaching my sermon through my own life experiences and what I have seen happen. Quarter life crisis hit me hard. As the girl next door, lets talk.

1.PATIENCE.

There’s an African proverb that says, when you don’t have patience then you cant make beer. I have come to learn the essence of time through bitter experiences like time. patience is a virtue they say, what they didn’t say though is that it isn’t for the faint heart. At some point my life was fast paced …having a degree at 21 and one day you wake up and time has gone by but you cant explain if it was worth it in the first place. Everyone seemed to be moving but me. Comparison is poison and you learn to deal with it over time because what awaits the successful is only upon them and the Lord. To anyone who has lost hope, remember, kutangulia sio kufika.  For the sun to rise, we must go through stillness of the dark and then it blooms. For a baby to be born, it takes a whole nine months. For you to feed, you must first plant, nurture and wait. Even when you plant, there is no certainty  that your plant will bloom, a farmer only has to trust and believe that they’ll harvest despite the challenges. Faith is believing that you will see your child through University and see your second generation but how do they grow? Not over night. Honestly its not for the faint hearted and its easier said than done but honey, you are breathing, God isn’t finished with you yet. Patience is reading through the stories of every character in the bible or Quran/seerah for you to see that Gods plans are mightier than your own. Faith is reading through the story of Joseph and believing that Gods plans are mightier than ours. Believing that storms can rage and through it all there’s God. patience  is the story of Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Jacob, Israelite’s because the old testament is rich with deep content. In your period of waiting, as long as you are healthy please know that every single person walking is waiting upon something even if they don’t show. Stupid is believing things on the gram.

2.SPIRITUAL ASPECT.

If God wants your attention, believe me He will get it. A good example is Chris Kirubi,(Kenyan business mogul) cancer made him aware that there is God.  Honestly you will be tested with difficulties and loss but your faith has to be strong. You have to be still and believe there’s God because scientists can only tell us how but never why. At this point in life I have turned that you allow God to fight your battles. Before telling friends/people your problems how about you talk to your maker, cry to your maker and obey your creator. Pray and let it be intentional. As the girl next door, darling work on your relationship with God. Let it be solid because there are seasons that its only God that covers you. Seek God first and all other things will be added unto you. I never promised it will be easy but it’ll be worth it. What if you are where you are today because of your mamas prayers? pass on the button to your generation as if this is a relay race.

3. RELATIONSHIPS.

Love, love and love again. The idea is however much you’ve been hurt before, love again but ensure that the other person isn’t a rebound. Love is a beautiful thing but sadly, sweetheart everyone will hurt you at some point. “Truth is, everyones gonna hurt you but you gotta know which ones are worth fighting for.” If you give your spouse the power of your joy, lets just say the movie ‘pursuit to happiness by William Smith’ will be your go to. This is a generation where people are jaded and are carrying baggage like daddy issues unknowingly but hey, fix you. If it comes, let it…if it goes also let it. Erotic relations I have learnt can end without warning. Today you’ll mean everything to someone and tomorrow you are replaced but I have learnt that you forgive these people whether they asked for apology or not. From other peoples experiences I have learnt that you can be perfect but not to someone who isn’t in the same page with you. When you give someone the power to love you, remember you also give them the power to hurt you and that’s why love, joy and happiness should come from you. This is a generation where we copy and paste someone eases idea of being loved yet its meant to have its own ingredients.  People will love you and support you when its beneficial. Learn to know if its toxic from the beginning and get out because the world has changed, there’s no longer value for life. please hunny love you first, seek God and all things will be added unto you. Everything remember is wabisabi– incomplete, impermanent and inconsistent….especially humans. Feelings change, people change.

work relationships are just that. get your money , be nice to colleagues and go home.

Not everyone is happy for you so be careful of friends but sadly you’ll only distinguish chaff from cereal when you hit rock bottom.

4.FAMILY.

Family is what got you when everything crumbles down. Family is like roots to a tree. My mum is my pillar of strength, my ride or die and my siblings. In family also, there’s toxicity and it doesn’t mean that if people are toxic and sucking he energy out of you, you should keep them. Choose those who only choose you even if you aren’t blood related, that’s now the definition of family. If this was chemistry then we would equate it to metallic bonds. At some point in life nothing will make sense and you need people to hold you down even if its just one soul. Your strongest support system is your family.

5. Boys vs Men.

Age doesn’t mean anything but the level of maturity does. I have learnt through peoples experiences that if a man doesn’t love you, don’t search for affirmations but read their actions. How they treat you is exactly how they feel about you.  Jacob loved Racheal but was  given Leah. He had to work 7 more years to get what he wanted. Leah thought he would trap Jacob into loving him by giving birth to sons but still that wasn’t enough. The point is, if a man loves you he would do anything to have you, to make you his better half and they never hesitate to say they are ready to come home and meet your parents. The stupidity of trapping a guy by getting pregnant was there. You can’t be committed to flesh and uncommitted to the soul. This is a simple species, read between the lines. If you feel unwanted that’s it. If you feel you are trying too hard, that’s it. The heart wants what it wants and he will find you. Whats yours will find you. If a guy wants to cheat that’s a choice. Men though why would you arouse a woman’s emotions without the intention of loving them? A species that will confuse you between love and lust. love and lust coexist within a person. Be wise…if you agree to settle for temporary pleasures, sweetie stick to that lane. No cuddles for you, just uber money. WHEN A BOY TALKS OF LOVE heres a link to one of the pieces.

6.SUCCESS.

Its relevant. One mans treasures is another mans trash. You should never be envious of anyone’s progress. Wish them well and stick to your lane. Someones version of success is getting married to a rich man and that’s an accomplishment to them. Fine, they might get these men but who guaranteed you that the rich don’t cry? Success comes but with time. Trust the process. An uber driver once told me, “if you see a guy with too much at a very young age, analyze his days on earth because they are shorter as compared to someone with a compelling difficult story.” “He who runs after good fortune runs away from peace.” Too much comes with a price and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

7.MY MOTTO.

This year is to de-clutter. Choose only those who choose you. Takers don’t have limits and as a giver, have some self respect. Choose friends who choose you, family members who embrace you.  If you feel like you are trying too hard and its not reciprocated then you probably are  so de-clutter. Minimalism is better than clogging. At the end of the day its Twalha, God , family and a very small circle. From experience… you probably have a 100+ contacts but if right now life goes south, you can’t call all the the people in your list but there are people who will certainly show up, get you and lift you up in the valley.

BE YOUR OWN SENTINEL.

Thank you for reading. please remember to vote

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My best poem has to be desiderata BY  Max Ehrrman. A poem written in 1927 and it is the most wholesome piece I ever read, fundamental to all aspects of life.The last verse is as follows.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

This has been a year with major transitions in my life and so much healing had to take place. Healing is crucial for you to forge on and most importantly forgiveness. Forgive people who will never apologize to you because that is how they are.

I was having coffee with my uncle Sam. This is an uncle of value in my life and while talking about forgiveness, this is the story that made me write this piece. We know of a lady called Catherine. She was a warm lady with infectious laughter and a business mogul. She owns a couple of shops in the CBD (central business district)  and Catherine was in her mid thirties, married and with a 5 year old daughter. Life doesn’t guarantee you anything so when you’re successful keep pride at bay and when it knocks you down, you’re in perfect position to pray and know that you’re where you are because of Gods’ grace and mercy. Catherine’s business collapsed but luckily she had constructed her home, her residence with no support from the husband but does it matter? You are a single entity in papers and according to God but I can hear slay queens whispering ” get a life Twally.”

Catherine stood with the man even when the universe seemed to be against him. Love makes you do crazy things and the heart can kill you faster than a bullet. So one day, Kate scrolls on Matt’s laptop and his Facebook account was still active and we all know phones and laptops are weapons to  most relationships. Truth will always be out anyway. Curiosity kills the cat they say, but curiosity kills people in love the most. Women have power with intuition and I wish we would learn to follow them. Her instinct was to ignore the messages but the mind wanted to contend with the heart and this battle is lost mostly if you follow the latter. Kate had to be the bigger cat and allow death to follow her and it literally did. She was shocked to the bone and she couldn’t believe what she saw because there’s no greater pain as being faithful to an adulterer. DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY it is in the commandments and in Quran, Do not even come close to Zinaa.

Kate decided to confront Matt and this is a bad idea because expect two things: 1. He/She will deny after getting caught. 2. ) He/She will show no remorse and this pain can numb you. caring while someone else doesn’t care at all. The man, Matt…chose to go with number 2. Kate then needed mediation from her mother in law and this one person who was supposed to raise this man in a proper manner said ” even if you built a house, don’t yell at my son. Calculate the amount used for the construction materials and we will repay your money but let my son do as he pleases.”  This woman reminds of an actress, patience. The mother in law who finds joy with your pain. This broke her to the core. Comfort, you’ll get when you run to mummy. Kate’s mum was a bishop and she asked her daughter to go back home. When life gets real, believe me home is where you belong. East or west, home is  the best. After a week, Kate’s daughter goes to wake up her mum because grandma asked her to. She goes back and tell cucu (grandma), that mummy is deep asleep. Kate’s mum then goes to the room only to find a cold body and pills on the pillow. Her being a pastor, even speaking in tongues wouldn’t salvage the situation. Kate was in depression the whole time. Mental health is an issue to many and faces have masks. Smiles hide the most  pain. People who appear to be happy the most have the most scars. Checking up on people has become grace. It is well with my soul is mostly associated with a title of a song. It is well with my soul is the song that accompanied her to the grave.

My point is, people will hurt you but master the art of letting of go. It is a mastery which few people can handle. People you thought would be there for you will leave but its okay because God is teaching you the need to fully rely on Him and not on people.

When life throws lemon at you, find solace with the words that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be and it is well with my soul. Marriage issues will be there and allow God to fight for you knowing that whatever the outcome, it is well with my soul. A man or your lady has disapointed you, it will definitely break you and you’ll fall apart but don’t allow it to consume you… it is well with your soul. A dead beat dad has done you wrong and doesn’t support your kids, they will grow up to be bigger than your expectations and it shall be well with your soul. Remember though, it shall only be well with your soul after you have forgiven and also forgive yourself for allowing people to use you and abuse you. Healing is a process and this too shall pass. Guess what, It shall be well with your soul.GOD WILL BRING YOU BACK TOGETHER RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE PEOPLE THAT BROKE YOU.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Thank you for reading this piece. hey, follow me on youtube: Twalha Anene.

It shall be well with your soul. Forgive and believe hat vengeance belongs to God. Let go of everyone and start over again for it is okay not to be okay but it gets better. Everyday above the ground is a blessing and as long as you’re still breathing, God isn’t done with you yet. Every single day is a day to start over just like how the sun rises and let go of pain, anger and disappointments from human beings just like the sun sets.

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Men are going through so much beneath the muscles, the beard and their authoritative voices whether its bass or tenor, no one likes it soprano. This is a true story from an interview with Linus and with his permission. A man can cry 17 times a year but a woman can cry weekly the whole year. So exactly how do men vent out with all the pressure and the societal bar set for them.

SOME PEOPLE FEEL THE RAIN, SOME GET WET. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IN GOD AND SOME JUST EXIST. Linus is a guy who has been reading my pieces since the genesis of my blog. One of his comments baffled me ‘Twalha this piece is just perfect timing as I have been going through so much.” For a a man to admit that life is tough, then the tides were high and I asked him “whats your story? please start from the beginning.”

BETRAYAL

Linus: “Truth is, I am a good man but men have limits too. I have a son, but I can’t live with him because women can be difficult. Most times we complain that men are dogs but there must be a reason behind a cold heart. We just don’t wake up and become dogs. I started dating quite late because I wasn’t into commitments. My first girlfriend just dumped me before I joined campus and it was so toxic by the end of the relationship. I got a girlfriend in campus and it was amazing till I introduced her to my friend and one day she diverted his calls to my number and that conversation tore me apart. Its almost like cupid had bewitched me. I played along and she was planning to come visit me in campus but do more with my best friend. That was a turn around in my life and I became a man with no identity and I could talk women, sleep women and eat……”

SECOND CHANCES AND DECEIT.

At this point I actually got scared because nothing good comes from these kind of situations. Did you get sick? I asked. “I found love actually. She taught me romance, passion, trust, joy and happiness and I was her bait even though she was older but at that time age is just but a number right? She was in campus but I was in first year. I was in Maseno  University and she was in Kenya polytechnic now TUK. She drifted apart and went cold turkey on me and one day her’ boy friend’, picked up her phone and I was crashed. Have you ever been faithful to a harlot? I had hustled cash for her birthday and that day I went out with my boys and we staggered… Lord knows what drunkenness can do. Men in the clubs and bars don’t just sit there sometimes out of choice but because of circumstances Twalha. I now became a bad boy. No strings attached kind of guy and I would date even four ladies at a time .”

CONSEQUENCES, THIRD CHANCES WITH LOVE, REALISM OF LIFE AND BLESSINGS.

Were there any consequences? yes. ” one day I stalked a lady on I.G and she was fine wine. Have you ever stared at the  sunset while driving to an unknown while holding a beer can? yes…that feeling. I slid into her D.M and I realized later that she was in high school. I was in love again but this time both feet in the water but with a minor (below 18 years old). So one day when schools closed she agreed to meet me in campus and by the time she cleared, she was pregnant and I became a father. Talk about unplanned marriages and fatherhood. I am a student, jobless, clueless, confused and now a young girl is pregnant.  I had to tel my folks but luckily they didn’t flinch and she moved in with my parents. Trouble arose between her and  my mum but she delivered my son while still living with my folks. due to issues, she had to move out and keep up with her friend but I had to pass by and check up on them on a daily basis.”

POWER OF PRAYER, REJECTION, STRUGGLES.

Did you ever move in with her later and where is she currently plus you were jobless when she moved out so what happened? I asked.  ” we moved from Maseno to Kisumu and things got rough Twally. No job, no money and we had to survive. I became a tout. A graduate from Maseno University now a tout. My family was in shock but I had to survive. I would wake up at 4:30 am and go to the main stage and I would beg the drivers to give me a squad. I had money and the survival was mouth to mouth and we lived one day at a time until I faced resistance from the squad who used to man the stage and I was beaten properly and I stopped the tout job. My face was literally deformed. I had suicidal thoughts but there is power in prayer Twalha. God loves me.”Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” – Corrie Ten Boom

BREAK THROUGH, ANSWERED PRAYERS, MOVING ON AND SURVIVAL.

Are you prayerful? ” I am prayerful and God has got me. Your blogs helped me much. Some people look up to you Twally and maybe that’s your purpose in earth. I got into depression because I completely had nothing yet I had a son and my then girlfriend to provide for. The breakthrough came after a month and a half. I got a job at a movie shop and it was booming and my life blossomed. Issues arose between my girl and I and she became physical and she had to leave. Ladies can also turn out to be physical that’s why we have Fatuma Zarika. The movie shop started failing and it was so bad that some days I got no coin. I had rent arrears for 2 months and bills were piling up. God answers prayers because at the verge of giving up, my sister called me and I had a job offer at some school for the whites. I became a teacher with no training in education.” MOST OF THE IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD HAVE BEEN ACCOMPLISHED BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE KEPT ON TRYING WHEN THERE SEEMED TO BE NO HOPE AT ALL.

NEW DAWN, PAIN, FAITH.

Sometimes troubles are like stairs, following each other to the top and its easy to give up but. be still and know that He is God. Where is your son? ” My girlfriend who had already left with my son called to say she was pregnant but I was sure it wasn’t my child. She had another man but she put a blame on me. She was scared to disappoint her family but the pregnancy was a difficult one. She had an ectopic pregnancy and her Fallopian tubes had to be removed due to some complications. I was broke that some times I would send my kid only 300 shillings due to the delay of salaries. To cut it short, my baby mama had to go back to school and there was no one to stay with my son. Her family didn’t like me but I decided I will live with the child.” Faith moves mountains. When you pray, believe and let go.

STABILITY, RISING AND HOPE.

In 2018 Linus became a full time dad with a full time job but had to balance. The kid was enrolled in a school.” I had to be a dad and I was proud of it. One morning I see cops in my house and my son was taken away from me after a year and she left. Till to date I never understood why she did that but I support of my son. My breakthrough finally came when I got my current job which is full of ups and downs but I survive. Right now I pray for a better job but at least I pay tuition fees for my son. So that’s my story.”

My point: Every situation leaves you with a scar, a lesson and a blessing. His blessing was his son. God has your back even when your back is against the wall. Its been a while since I wrote but young men have it rough but the beauty is that its your story, own it because it gets better. If you have it too easy, the aftermath will be quite rough. Have it tough now, learn the lesson, pray more and soldier on. It always gets better.  Thank you Linus. Like I always say, It always gets better.

Thank you for reading. Follow and share. Subscribe on my YouTube channel TWALHA ANENE.

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WE ARE ALL IN  THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.

There’s nothing as hard as new beginnings. Human beings though need to realize that every nanosecond is a past. Its March, almost the end to the first quarter of the year and looking back, at least for me the only additional value I’ve added to my life is starting a YouTube channel. I am trying to put a face into the art that I praise. This year so far has been lemon added with apple cider vinegar and I was forced to gulp. Can you imagine drinking vinegar? That,s how it felt but there,s beauty in every misery especially with the knowledge that no man will help. Guess who you’ll submit to. YES YOUR ANSWER IS RIGHT and trust and believe that He will make a way. BE STILL AND CALM AND KNOW THAT HE IS YOUR CREATOR.

Have you questioned why so many people are jaded and suicide seems the only way out to a lot of youths nowadays? I wouldn’t judge because sometimes when you turn right its dark and empty and when you turn left its snowy and foggy yet sunshine is what we all want. In Kenya or in the “first world” countries as it is so presumed,everyone is hopeless and look at the suicide data per day… meaning we are all dealing with same devils and demons just different levels. Bottom line is, so many “millenials” are tired and we are gasping for air just trying to survive. Truth is, when you have conversations with your peers, You’ll realize that everyone is struggling with something. Every aspect of life be it financially, mentally, physically and relationship matters there’s a strain.

Struggling has been there since the genesis of creation and the introduction of God manifesting in his prophets. Let’s start for example with the story of Jacob/ Yaqub. He had to toil for 7 years to marry the love of his life and He still never got what He wanted and he had to toil some more. The story of Abraham/ Ibrahim, imagine leaving your native land and starting afresh with nothing but faith and remember Sarah was barren. I think the hardest tests in the female species would be the test of barrenness but TIME is a factor to consider in these stories. Things will work out, but its a matter of time.

Major problem is, this is a society where its all about social media and as long as you are in platforms like Instagram and Facebook; envy, lies, showing off and deceit  will be part of you. Someone is at villarosa kimpiski sitted with Babu Owino and you’re so broke you cant even jav to town and you see such… Depression will definitely hit you hard. People are getting married and my dear sister is turning 28, and there’s no one in the picture… lie to me that she won’t be envious. People are in relationships while you were dumped without even a single closure or explanation yet all your girls are rocking it, tell me it won’t hurt you.

Weird enough, the grass isn’t green on the other side . Have you seen those couples that could win an Oscars  then you see them divorcing or separating but in public, it was all glam as if they are competing with the kiunas (famous preachers in Kenya). Every single person in this world is going through something. Those Instagram posts are just a facade. All these celebrities are always trying too hard to impress people who don’t even matter, just like how girls spend so much money to impress men who won’t even notice them…are just as human as you are and even much broken and lonely in the inside. If you are always trying to impress people, then this life wont move forward for you. Whatever you decide to do, do it for yourself.

Nelson Mandela had all the money in the world but he was so lonely at some point that he would wash his own plate and chat with his servants. This is  after his release from prison. Mandela divorced with Winnie and that period was so lonely till after Graca Machel came into the picture. Celebrities have money but who are the most depressed people? I promise you if you’d go to Nairobi Hospital and see the issues the rich have, you’d be surprised with the therapy session bookings. Perfect example, Avicii.

My point: I break down sometimes and I shut the world too just because things sometimes don’t go my way especially since the beginning of the year. The fact that I am here, breathing , then how amazing is God because He isn’t done with me yet. Things fall apart for the better. God hasn’t brought me this far to leave me now and this applies to you. Be still and know that He ,s God. Every time you shed tears due to depression and feeling stuck, He will never leave you empty when you raise your hands upon Him. The God that created you is all seer and all knowing so surely when in doubt, pray. It hurts and I know its hard believe me I know ,especially if you put your trust in human beings but God is a God of restoration. Every single person in this universe wants something they don’t have and everyone has demons they are battling with. ALLOW GOD TO FIGHT THESE BATTLES FOR YOU BECAUSE HUMAN BEINGS CANNOT. If youre too confused, remember that God is a God of turning impossibilities into possibilities with a blink of an eye. Like I always say, things always fix themselves up and we are all fighting. Hang in there.

stop stalking people on Instagram because its bull and foolish. They don’t have it all figured out just like you.

subscribe to my YouTube channel : Twalha Anene.  2 posts up.

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Whether you earn 1Million and someone else earns 10k, both of you are under the same sky and you’re both surviving but most times, the latter is more happy and content. I got an inbox  “Twalha please write about deceit and joblessness because currently I am jobless and I have a 7 month old baby and the father abandoned me, meaning I am a single mum.” This touched me so I will merge it with equilibrium of this life.

I met Kevin recently in town just opposite GPO where there is a bakery shop. Kevin sees me and he’s like ‘long time Twally.” Kevin was my classmate in campus but we were never close. Tall, light, now with a beard  and in official outfit but without a blazer holding a parcel. Kevin has this je ne sais quoi demeanor. Kevin told me he’s hustling and this is a term that most people use a lot nowadays to sugar coat that life is quite hard but I’m surviving. So we talk then he tells he’s actually looking for a job and he has papers in that parcel but God has his back. If God is all you have, then you will be just fine even if it seems to be too dark. I would rather you get a job from God than from man…just like having  a spouse. Have you ever noticed that people with adversaries are the most content people full of so much hope, let’s just say very optimistic. To be honest I wouldn’t wish the depression of unemployment even on my worst enemy but truth is, at some point in life, it’s a pill you will taste just so that you are kind and helpful to someone else. I have been there and it sucks. Just like the sun rises, so will you.

dsc_0414This is the time where almost everybody you know keeps off. You will call people asking them to help and their responses are ” send me your CV to my email” just to soothe you and to give you false hopes. This is the time where someone will keep telling you to remind them that they’ll give you feedback but will never call. All your friends will be somewhere and you are nowhere. If you know you can’t help them, don’t sympathize and don’t lie to them only to ridicule them. At some point you must taste it. Its like visiting someone in hospital, it’s easier being on the side bed than the bed itself but at some point you might find yourself there. Its called life. Take that jobless hustling guy for lunch because its hard under the scorching sun in the city of Nairobi without a a tall uncle or aunt. The worst is being compared to a person who tarmacked for 6 years or more. Through it all though, you will survive.

DECEIT. depressed-teenage-girl-texting-on-the-bridge-picture-id801862074931468447.jpeg

We live in a world of narcissists where people use other people and break the other party. If you want fun take swimming lessons or go party but don’t damage peoples hearts. I think we all bring generational curses upon ourselves. We have all been broken or dumped and vice versa. It happens every second, everyday but to the men who leave scars and collect dust, do not underestimate the tears of a wounded broken woman because it’s only but a curse. Whether you left her while pregnant or not, as long as she weeps because you lied, betrayed, cheated or hurt her, well… start buying morphine because the pain you will at some point in your life feel will be twice as bad. To the lady who in-boxed me, It’s hard I know because its a battle of unemployment and being a single mum and this is hard but you will survive. Everything always falls into place and God is definitely watching over you. Its pain so deep that cuts across your heart and down you spine and the world suddenly has nimbus clouds formed in it but you will survive and this much I promise because you will heal. Allah says with every pain and hardship comes ease. To the ladies, always choose you first. He might bend you but never break because you need to cheers watching karma kiss at his door. BE A COMBINATION OF SWEET AND SAVAGE…ALPHA FEMALE.

EQUILIBRIUM OF LIFE.

What someone else is feeling now whether joy or sadness, so will you. Some people have never felt the wrath of unemployment but just before retirement, they get a blow of retrenchment or someone else retires, having invested nothing and it brings them back to the same point of the unemployed. We all must get to the top but lucky is he who knows the taste of the bottom rather than the one who will slip down the mountain like an avalanche. Like I said earlier, it’s easier being on the other side of the hospital bed than the patient but who knows what tomorrow holds. The rich and the poor will be distinguished by class but every single bone and part of their body functions the same and most importantly, they will both be six feet under when God is done with them because the depth is constant. 6 feet under.

Be kind when your friend calls you because they are hungry as its just a phase. The future is just too uncertain for you to be boastful in this earth. Thank you for reading…we have a date soon.

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Through observation, Nairobi is definitely beautiful but there’s a wide gap between the haves and the haves not. So is africa.  This article has alot of themes let’s talk.

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4:30 a.m on a Saturday I woke up literally for a  morning run with my brother whos just 14 but my dad had finished his lap already. Well, I’m not as fit because there’s a point where I used to run thrice a week but I stopped but Im back at it again. Mombasa road is lovely,  street lights aligned on the highway making it glow but its a good distraction to prove that we are close to a developed country and our Governor has done a good job with vegetation so the grass is actually green on the other side . As early as 4:30 a.m there is a man selling eggs and sausages while someone from the other side of life is having a swim probably in a heated pool at Sankara hotel or Hilton hotel. The man next to him has also set up his fire-place for roasting maize and down the fly over there is a man selling coffee holding tumblers on the other hand I guess coming from Nairobi west because everyday is a party day in that area.

Hard work always pays off in the end. 3 years of no life, no sleep, nothing but work and school, lead me to where I am today. Today I’m a successful nurse with a great home, husband, and little one on the way. Hard work and patience always pays off in the end and gives you what you have been working for. I’m just a couple months my husband will be done with school too and we won’t ever have to worry about money again. We can start planning our move to Florida with our giant house and 2 acres of land with an I ground pool. We can continue to grow our family and visit Disney as many times a year as we want.

My brother also observes and he utters “it’s so early yet people have started hustling”. We get to Nyayo stadium and at the fly over we look down the highway and posh cars are speeding and I can see range rovers and buses too. At the stage , public vehicles are already functioning and the touts seem to be used to it. They are dressed warmly and they cant complain because at the end of the day, you got bills to pay and obligations to be met. We head home but I’m too tired so I stretch and take a nap because I need to be working in a couple of hours. When I head to the stage, I can see the women who are going to hustle to the high-end estates. These women walk from kijiji in south B to  estates like south c, Langata and Nairobi west because they have to survive.  I board a bus to town and there’s this ease that it’s a weekend and the mood isn’t so boring or too serious but  on the window there’s someones dad or father who has just finished his night shift somewhere and he’s dozing off or he was the night guard and he’s heading home. Newspaper vendors  have started their day and the tropical candy guys are in the bus already hustling to finish one pack of their sales that morning. There’s also a marketer who sells kids pencils that don’t need a sharpener and bible books for kids as its a holiday.  I alight and as usual saturday mornings aren’t  so busy  and crowded but in front of supermarkets, buses are parked waiting for travellers to finish shopping. I mean leisure local  tourists the tembea kenya guys. Pick up points are normally at kencom to international house. The new naivas supermarket where barclays bank Moi avenue used to be, is the pickup point for keitan safaris.

A blind man is singing and praising God and it breaks my heart every time I see people begging on the streets or children being used as laborers but in form of beggars. Either way no one would want such a job and it breaks me because that is someone’s father or husband. We often say that we shouldn’t give money or donations  to someone who has hands and legs but they are on the streets. I get your logic but don’?t we have graduates without jobs?  so now what about someone whom life has shuttered them completely and they don’t have connections nor a roof over their heads? I stopped over somewhere to drop a document and geevanjee garden is already full of people . You can see the desperation and the stress they have on their faces, you can feel the pain in their eyes but there’s a preacher giving a sermon about hope and patience. patience is a virtue they say ,but some words are easier said than done. Its only 8: 45 a.m. Some men are already sleeping on the grass due to hopelessness and a street child is looking for food in the bins. I take a turn and in front of Jamia mosque, kids are sleeping on cartons and cuddling themselves because its cold but they probably chose the mosque because it makes them feel like Allah is watching over them, The father of the fatherless and the most merciful is protecting them.

Last night i had a zoomcall with the team at 03.00 at night My babyboy woke up at 07.00. Its hard work but i will make sure my hard work will pay of. At daytime i put my mother mode on at night i put my beast mode.. Protect your energy make sure you rest because when you grind make sure you grind the shit out of yourself. Make every second count progress yourself with 1% every day. YOU GOT THIS BECAUSE WE ALL GOT YOU #hard#work#pay#off#entrepreneur#taking#risks#letsgooo#grinding#believe#austingo

CJ restaurant is not really packed but it has people, Kilimanjaro restaurant has people having breakfast and Java is filled to capacity with some tables already reserved. Outside this lane, there’s a homeless albino and I cringe because she has a child and I feel her inward tears because albinism is hard. Already you can see the difference between the haves and the haves not. There was a public vehicle (matatu) strike on 12/11/2018, but media had to target Eastlands because the roads were flocked with people walking. They  didn’t target Karen, Runda, Kitusuru, Lavington or Spring valley because they have an Uber option and majority of them own cars. Baba dogo, Githurai, Umoja, Embakasi, Kayole are areas where strangers bonded and talked about politics while walking but to some its normal. They walk in unison because they share one thing in common, hard life! I walk home after work because routine is lethal and at the railway bridge, people are walking but just past the roundabout, peeping in the vehicles, you would see a driver with an empty car just watching people struggle but its Nairobi.

My point: If you are reading this piece, you have had at least one  meal  today, you are working,  you have a place to call home, melanin isn,t an issue and your skin isn’t affected by uv rays, you have a good education and you don’t need to beg on the streets while singing just so that your song strikes the empathy cord in someone, you are richer than you think. I travelled to lake Magadi, and you will never see a fat maasai but they have water problems. They wish they were from Nairobi and they walk miles to lake Magadi to sell beads but we are mad because of matatus. You are blessed than you think especially if you aren’t sick. God loves you and he sees your hustle. Hustle and never look at what they think. You are only answerable to yourself and one day, the star will shine. God provides, God is the father to the fatherless , comforter of the widows and the widowers and if God can feed the birds and the ants, don’t worry about tomorrow but trust in Him. I mean who are you that He wouldn’t look after. As long as you are breathing, He isn’t done with you yet so grind and hustle hard.  EVERY BOSS WAS ONCE A WORKER ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

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 ‘If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out early in the morning hungry and return in the evening full.’” – Narrated by at-Tirmidhi and he said, “Hadith Hassan.”

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