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Nairobi is the capital city of Kenya. How do we know so much about Washington DC and New York yet they…(people from developed countries) have no idea about Africa whether it’s a continent or a country but sadly we are dependent on them. What pisses me off is why in this country we have adopted the pace of using cutlery instead of them coming over and using their natural forks, that is, fingers. Why can’t they adopt our customs just as the adage backs me up , “when you go to Rome , do as the Romans do.” That is why in every Islamic country, whether you like it or not, you have to adopt the standard of modesty. Well….she was numb but she was numb even before she learnt the cutlery tutorials from YouTube about using a soup spoon and a tea spoon. She was numb as a child and she attracted numb people who masquerade as energetic men in Nairobi.

Nairobi is a very fast paced city and it will have you on your toes trying to look for a side hustle. This is a city where all people from the village would rather settle in shanties but call home (village) claiming they are in Nairobi. Students in the public Universities especially from the village try so hard to impress but is it really to impress or fit in? She joined The University of Nairobi after passing her exams of course. This is the University that most students dream of joining just because of hearsay but the location too is wanting. She joined the school of economics at the main campus and her hostels were just next to Nairobi primary school. How do you tame a young lady who feels the need to style up , entitled to the party life and choked to prove her worth? How do you tame a young lady who grew up without parents but has her grandmother only in this life? How do you tame a lady that has the freedom and more time to search for the emptiness of her heart?

She wanted to fit in so she tried extra hard to speak eloquently but the heavy accent of the Abagusii wouldn’t let her. The ancestors demanded to be present in Nairobi and this accent is like a navel, even when you do your PHD it betrays you…well most of the times. Moraa is her name…Moraa Kerubo. A girl that has faced rejection so much that even when love is handed over on a saviette, she would decline because she has no idea how it feels to be loved in the first place. Her mind is her sexiest adornment because dammit she’s sharp. Nairobi will confuse you just as it confuses people with suitcases at Afya center or Tea room. Moraa met Victor in campus. Victor was struggling just as much to fit in and the ancestors from Meru demanded their land to be represented in this city that even scares people from neighboring countries. Moraa has this chocolate skin tone and shes curvy. Victor is this tall, light skinned and slim guy. All of these young people are trying to grow up but its scary to fit in especially when you have no idea how.

Campus love confuses every young lad that no one would separate them no matter what , yet it’s the opening of so many frogs to be kissed and encountered until you tell God “take over I surrender. ” The love blossomed into something “serious” but these were numb people who had so much baggage. They had so much to learn and sometimes you must be willing to be bare so that you can find healing. Moraa got caught up with knowing Westlands and Kilimani until one day she was called in the pursuit of ‘happiness ‘. During their party escapades she met this old chap who smokes Cigars only. He had a chauffeur, he wore this fedoras hats and he asked for her number. When an old man wants to take advantage of a young girl enough to be his daughter, the girl accepts but solely because she was wounded in the past and she tries to find fatherly love from a psychopath. A triangle was formed ; Moraa, Victor and the old man who’s name is Bazu.

Bazu is in his mid sixties. a man that has seen it all. A man that has so much wealth and property . A man that has a wife, sons and grandchildren. With all his money he was a lonely man. To quench his thirst for his loneliness he used money to buy people because ladies are so desperate sometimes, that the would settle for anything regardless of whether or not someone has a family. He had his charming ways as he would entice a woman with money and trips. Moraa being an orphan without that fatherly love, fell for his mans charm. She found a father in him and he found a mistress in her. A father because he supported her financially and emotionally and a mistress because he had wrapped her in his little fingers because anytime he was thirsty he would send the driver to pick her up even if it meant during her lectures. She was flopping in class and her future that her grandmother anticipated was jeopardized.

Victor being young and naïve follows suit on what most us do in campus. solving an identity crisis with the number of women you woo into your hostel . Victor needed a father figure but sadly the dad had left him and his mum when he was a young boy, meaning he was numb. There’s a generational impact with men dealing with daddy issues especially if they don’t find healing. This explains why so many black American men are in jails and looking at their history, 90% of them had no fathers. Victor had multiple partners while Moraa had Bazu who also had a couple of other women. This is a world where we fear pregnancies more than Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Two numb people who have lost focus in school and Moraa gets pregnant with the dilemma of not knowing the father of her child. Victor rejects the pregnancy and he becomes so aggressive that the girl becomes numb. She follows suit of what this college boy tells her . Victor suppresses her and intimidates her because of his own baggage-fatherless first born man. She’s in denial of the pregnancy and she has to visit the clinic at three to four months. She goes to the clinic knowing that her grandmother would be disappointed. Worn out, numb, broken and no clouds of silver lining she talks to the doctor. The first test was a HIV test which came out positive. So how many people are infected?

Bazu had started taking her out for dinners at posh hotels and that’s when she had to learn the YouTube tutorials about etiquette , the haves and the haves not and the dos and the donts. She would later be given a room and he would join her later. In the midst of the confusion the 2nd year economics student decided to end her life because it was too much to bear. All she ever wanted was to love and be loved but the universe had conspired against her. A lonely heart searches for solace like a root growing on concrete. Victor hurt her and he seemed to be moving on with so many ladies at the hostels. Hurt people hurt people. Lonely people look for love in every wrong place. Until you heal your past and be willing to surrender to your bare self that you need help, nothing on the surface of the earth would ever make sense. Relationships fail mostly because people are numb unknowingly. If someone comes to you and shares with you their darkest past just so that you don’t hurt them, please be good to them because no tear drop is unwritten as it will always come back.

Economics students printed out shirts branded with Moraa’s face. Everybody was at the burial saying how much they loved her . People wait until you have died to compliment you. Moraa’s grandmother was broken beyond measure. Sometimes people aren’t as strong as they appear to be. Bazu had the audacity to sponsor the funeral knowing well that he played a role in hurting her and destroying her dreams and goals. Life goes on. Victor in his depressive state was quite strong to deal with the fact that for the rest of his life he had to swallow tablets as per the regulated time. His state of denial was what he had to deal with.

Thank you for reading. Stay woke and be kind to yourself. Please subscribe to the pop up newsletter.

“Some feel the rain while others get wet .” Bob Marley. I have never seen him in this state of excruciating pain before and it was sad that there was absolutely nothing I could do to ease the pain. The thing about pain is that only you can feel it even when everyone else is sympathetic, pain demands to be felt. Feel the pain and you’ll heal. A man will feel disappointed in life either if he lets down his family by lack of providence or betrayal from the woman he loves. “The baby unfortunately is….”

Ethan is a man I have mentioned before. The link to this story is https://twally.co.ke/mr-subaru-guy/. The guy who loves cars, parties and ladies but got smitten by a rare breed. He called me on this slow Sunday mid morning while I was reading A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS BY KHALED HOSSEINI. I remember I was in chapter 30 and I was intrigued by the awesomeness of the writer. My Sundays are normally chilled and easy so I choose to spend more time with family and my books. He told me he’s at our gate and I could tell from the stutter of his voice that he’s tipsy and something was off. I couldn’t imagine it being another prank because of the seriousness of his voice. I was in black sweat pants and a T-shirt so I went outside hurriedly.

Ethan was in a bad state. Shaggy unkempt hair, had a bottle of Jack Daniels on the passenger seat and he’d worn black shades for some reason. I go towards the drivers door to say hi and he just said ” Twally I can’t take it anymore. Everything is crushing right in front of me.” I remove his shades and his eyes were beetroot red either because of lack of sleep or liquor but on second thought, he could have been crying. This is one of the most vibrant people I know. He gets into a room and he illuminates joyful ambience. Everything about him is a happy soul . I invite him inside the house but he declines so I tell him to give me a minute I change and put myself together so that I can drive him.

We exchange seats and I drive him although he hates it when I’m on the wheel because I’m too cautious (slow). I play some music just because the mood is tense but the minute I reversed the car, he started crying and he said that the DNA results were out. What do you do when a man sheds painful tears and out of everyone they could have talked to, they choose you ? I couldn’t even tell him to pray and I Chose to pray for him instead there and then and I drove off. I play Tupac and he starts singing along to ‘dear mama’ and in chorus we all sing along “the plan is to show you that I understand.” He drank too much until I had to take the bottle from him. I was honestly driving with no sense of direction and my co -driver didn’t seem to care at all.

I pulled over at Masai lodge because of serenity. I needed to listen to what a broken man had to say but by the time we arrived he was asleep. I went in and ordered food because it takes some time for nyamachoma (roasted beef) to be ready and I let him sleep in the car. When the food was ready he was up and he was a bit better. We have lunch and he says ” men are in bars because of women. I loved this chic Twally but she fooled me. Do you remember the first time I introduced you to her at sarit ? ” I nod with this faint expression. ” This chic bana has been fooling me. You know I once caught her with this guy from the office and their body language was just off. How do you explain that your colleague has his forehead pressed on yours and you’re in the office. I had f***ng gone to the office to take her for lunch because I was in Westlands that day.” I nod attentively but busy munching becauseI wasn’t going to have cold food plus I’m a fast eater.

“Did you question her about it ?” He looked at me aimlessly as if trying to remember if he actually did. ” Imagine I had let it slide. I called her phone and told her to turn and when she saw me she was uneasy as hell. We left but that day was awkward because it was less talk and more panic at least for her. I guilt tripped her with silence.” I interject and I tell him that if something is off talk about it and solve it instantly. ” I developed trust issues with her when I saw the same guy dropping her off at my place in the morning on a Saturday because they were out partying as a department. She had said it was a work thing. This mama lied that she had ordered an uber. I told her that the guy looks familiar and she caused tantrums saying she doesn’t cheat.” At this point I had cleared my plate and he was halfway there so I suggested that he should eat. ” When you’re taken for dates you finish before the guy? Don’t embarrass men like this .” I laughed it off by saying I’m actually fast.

I could feel that he was getting better after he cleared round two. And had a litre of keringet bottle. Talk to me …enhe…” the office overtime hours became longer for her. She was just missing in action almost all weekends and I would chill with the boys more instead. Maze this whole time I chose not to play her though there were fly chics after me. You know when you get into a relationship that’s when people are on your case more?” I agree. When you’re single the phone is dry…immediately you try something with someone the forbidden fruit tastes sweet. ” I had decided to change my ways completely but I started questioning if I want a woman who party’s so much as my wife. The day I wanted to call it quits is the day she tells me she’s pregnant.” “Were you excited?” I ask. ” For some reason Tee I wasn’t but I loved her. I chose to look at it from an angle of divine alignment. God wanted us to make things work. She moved in to my place and my family went to their place and I paid dowry. ” He broke down until he couldn’t talk for a while and he said ” when she gave birth to my son I was happy. I was doubting Thomas because the other guy from her work visited us so often when she was on maternity leave. My instinct was uncertain about the situation. Last week on Friday just when the baby turned six months she said she wants to go out with her colleagues. Sasa how do I baby sit when the mother is out ? (Rhetoric question) . I snapped and we had a heated argument then she bluntly said she’s not even sure I’m the father to Jay.”

“It was a night of terror Tee. ” I have never seen a man shed tears but betrayal is a knife that targets the heart, the soul and the body. ” So she suddenly became apologetic and I was there shocked as my heart palpitated. These are things you hear from other people or watch on paternity court or just movies in general. I am scarred. I am a wounded man. ” I felt his pain but I was numb to react too. ” So I drove off to get some air and I slept at my boys’ bachelor pad at Milimani. The following morning I found a note that she had gone to her folks place . She asked us to get a DNA test and my suspicions about the colleague was true. He was the other potential father. Today the results are out and I feel so lost.”

I dropped him home later in the evening then I took an uber from there and headed back home. How many relationships look so perfect but with so many dark secrets? How many guys are raising other people’s children? How many wounded men walk in these cold streets with no one to talk to? The DNA results shook us both. Men choose wisely.

Thank you so much for reading.

Lately I have been obsessed with black  old school movies like love and basketball( sanaa Lathan), poetic justice (Tupac Shakur and Janet Jackson), love Jones (Larenz Tate and Nia Long) ,queen and slim (2019) well the list goes on and on. I’m watching these movies and it depicts this black struggle when it comes to love or justice. Old school love strikes a cord in me. Coincidentally I went to the salon and my hair dresser who;s probably my mums’ age mate tells me about failed relationships and lifestyle. My chain of thoughts flows from gratitude to worth. It’s midnight.

Monday night as I had finished watching love and basketball, its one movie that has won numerous accolades over the years. Love is meant to be simple but from ancient times, medieval period…no one would understand it. Its simple yet confusing. x meets y but x cant tell y how he likes her and y cant tell x she likes him not unless y does it first. No one wants to get hurt but everyone has been hurt at some point. Its so simple in that you are meant to express yourself and treat the other person like they matter but for some reason people fall short. My thoughts are so in depth that I begin to wonder why people have to always part ways so that the other person realizes that they lost gold while scrambling for rocks. In my head I am already thinking about how you have to kiss frogs and they have to teach you tough lessons that aren,t taught in a classroom and lecture halls for you to know you deserve better. This movie leaves me wondering whether I met my man at some point and we had to part ways so that we mess it up with other people until the universe ensures we collide. I actually read that by 16-22, you have already crossed paths with the person that will marry you and at this point im thinking about so many people but my visceral just cant believe it.

Why do people settle for less? Why do we quit fighting for things we are passionate about? Why are we scared to tell our crushes that we really like them and we hate the fact that we actually like them?  Why is it that people are so depressed today and jaded yet we are more empowered and more educated than in the 90’s? Why are men never emotionally attached ? Why do people leave in the end? How can people get married but today it barely stays 5 years old? What were our grandparents and parents doing right that this generation just cant seem to fix it? Why cant a man be content with only one woman? We all need someone to lean on but at what cost when they will still leave?  why are there so many single mothers? Why do we need drugs to make as zen? Why are people so scared to get babies but unbothered with their health? why doesn’t religion matter anymore and arguing about the existence of God is cool? why are men committing suicide every single day?  Why is it okay for people to have sex with no strings attached?

Truth is, its messy. Guys would rather buy cars and party till they are 30 but still have a chic whom they are sure they cant marry.  They say every man has a woman  and that God created people in pairs so where is this LGBT coming from? If a woman has a fellow woman, where is this partner at and vice versa?.  Having a conversation with the hair dresser, she simply tells me , “how will things work when kids are left for the nanny to raise them when people are working to fit lifestyles? People are dating via whats app.” she tells me how in the olden days a man would pick you at your door and take you out and he’ll pay the bills irregardless of whether he has a car or not he will return you home safely. A woman knew their worth and the men would purse women because they are wired to be hunters but now women are at their disposal. A man will get bored, scroll through his contacts and call a chic to his home, use her and leave her. Those days if he wanted you, you’ll just see him with his kinsmen at your home and if you approve, you start life and grow together. Now, its what car he drives first and when he gets broke because life happens, he becomes a drunkard and gets a mpango wa kando (side chic) who will appreciate him as a man or he will get into depression and commit suicide.

I’m still thinking and I wish that he would:

Love me like the 90’s where you don’t feel like its a bother to show up and pick me and drop me irregardless of whether you own a car or not. Love me like the 90’s where we can keep our phones at bay when we’re together and have deep conversations and laugh. Love me like the 90’s where we can go for good dates like picnics, bike riding or even walks at  karura forest. Love me like the 90’s where we can meet in churches or mosque after prayers and go for coffee. Love me like the 90s where we can be open and bring your people to my people and we start life without wasting my precious time. Love me like the 90s and we can listen to Shakur and Biggie or Aaliyah and Ashanti and say ‘yeah we are the 90s babies.’ well… if you’re from the 80’s this applies too. Be with me and lets get babies with condition that family is your priority. No one said it would be perfect but by the time I say I do, I have already seen your potential and I want us to fight. To hell with a generation where a after fight you are on to the next kind of shit. Sadly darling, most times when you run and the other person has always been good to you…just know that the grass is never green on the other side.

In the old school movies, in the olden times…our parents knew their roles. A man would be a provider, protector and hardworking. Valiant in battle and noble in defeat. Now, they can be all that but then if he’s too good they\ll say you aren’t the only one in his life. Despair has always been there since time in memorial where things wouldn’t work out no matter how hard you try but over time , I have learnt that its easier to pray the pain away than involve people in your problems. pray then let go…you’ll be surprised at how magic happens.  I’m still deep in thought and someone crosses my mind but I cant call him then I realize that  you need to forgive because even when the past calls, there’s nothing new it will have to say when you pick up.  Forgive yourself and forgive people who never apologized because sometimes you don’t have to be mad, just done!

DECLUTTER.

I’m not old as my mother and hairdresser would say but I;m not young as I can;t do the things that I used to do in campus but I’m wise enough to know better. I’m wise enough to choose me and be selfish with me. I can only go where I feel appreciated and not tolerated. I’m wise enough to know that its okay to cut ties with people whose chapter in my life is over even family members. I can’t allow people to take advantage of my emotions, my time and my mental health. Its okay to declutter. It’s okay to wish people well and keep walking…keep moving. As I think and its almost 1 a.m , I look at some contacts and I declutter. If we ever meet on the streets its okay, we can hi and bye with a smile as a bonus. My motto for the year is choose those that choose you. The moment you start second guessing if you fit in , that’s an answer in its own. positive vibes only.

I watched poetic justice and this is Tupacs’ best movie to me because he is more gentle and loving than probably ‘juice’ or ‘above the rim’ but it teaches  me that  you have love and love and love some more.  Give love second chances because you just never know. Learn why people are the way they are because pain teaches the toughest lessons and teaches the deepest lessons but it changes people. When you say “i gotcha” you got to mean it. Everything works out in the end.

RnB is playing and I got to sleep but my thoughts are focused on my future. A future whereby tomorrow isn’t granted but believing that God gave us hope and a future but today is what we have to be grateful for. Its raining outside and I’m thinking about how merciful God is to me. The fact that I’m warm, I have a roof over my head, I have had  a meal, I am healthy, I have my mum in the next room, I have siblings that love me. My brain is my greatest asset and my eyes can pierce through your soul . I feel grateful that none of us has been in jail and worse off, incarcerated when innocent like the movie “when they see us”. I’m grateful because I keep growing by the day positively and I’m wiser. I have sharpened my visceral skills.

Dozing off… my thoughts make me smile but my eyes are shutting.

Thank you for reading, RAMADHAN KAREEM TO MY FELLOW MUSLIM BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

Do you have that week where there’s an array of similar talks or events happening in the same manner? I had this week where every person I met literally discussed  the same things and I guess its about time we talk about a generation famished of spiritual grounding. Let’s talk.

Steve is my friend and a very mature guy who will always bombard you with wisdom and we met a year ago on a trip. Steve tells me he is worried of the kind of lady he will marry. He says, ” I was playing basketball yesterday and one of my friends was in such a hurry that I thought he had a problem. So I asked him if he’s okay. He told me that he had to sleep early because they had all been summoned by mum as she had organized prayers for the family the following day.” I was amused too and Steve tells me, “our mothers used to organize these prayer gatherings for the family but Twali imagine with this generation, how many ladies would think about such for their families? Which chic right now in this generation, will organize for prayers for her family yet all they do is take photos and live a lie?”

“She (my mother) became a warrior far superior to any epic hero. She became a giant on her knees. With a sword in one hand she battled the enemies of death and disease, and with her other hand stretched toward heaven she kept beseeching God’s help and His mercy.” – Bishop T.D. Jakes

Nina is a very close friend of mine and while having drinks at capital center, we talk about aspects of life. Nina is a lawyer by profession well…right now I am your writer but a procurement officer by profession. We get to talk about spirituality and life in general.  We are both not married and we start a chit chat about the kind of men that we have in the society. “It is one thing for a guy to tell you to have his child and its a whole different thing when a guy tells you he is committed and wants to grow with you. It is also one thing to get married and live feeling you are single then it is a different thing to marry a guy who treats you right, makes you smitten and is yoked on GOD.” I say.  Nina is a very straight forward lady so she tells me, ” We are in an age Twali where we need to settle yes, but why yoke your soul to the wrong person? There are so many spiritual wars that need to be fought so I would rather wait than settle with someone who is going in  opposite direction.” This is a concern because how then do you fight battles in your marriage when someone is nursing a hangover and yet you are on your knees so much so that now he becomes an epicenter of prayer.

1 peter 3:7

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

On Saturday I go to the Salon and the lady sitting next to me is also talking about how marriages today have lost meaning and value. I’m not yet there but it becomes a forum of five ladies and I am involved too. The lady had come for a Mani-pedi and braids so hell yeah there’s time. Her name is Faith. ka mum let me ask you… “yes sure” I respond. “How many guys have you met that you can take home and tell mum that this is it?” wow ! I stare at her nails because of the choice of color but at the same time thinking because I hadn’t seen it coming …and I say none. All these ladies conclude that” generation ya hawa ni jamaa kuangalia upuzi , apatie dem ball then hatakuoa. wanaogopa majukumu na siku hizi majamaa ni raha. pesa yake ni ya raha na tusichana wenye wana ugonjwa.”(this is a generation where guys look at other factors other than character.They impregnate a lady with no intention of marrying her because they are scare of responsibilities. Men just want to enjoy and bang sick ladies). The hair dresser fixing the lady’s’ hair is called Adele and she agrees saying how ladies are being misused but it’s a woman’s fault. In her words, ” Twali you are gorgeous, umesoma, you are intelligent and you are kind. Don’t ruin your life because of a man . hata usiwe na stress mdogo wangu maana waume siku hizi hata hawafuati maamrisho ya muumba wao.” The one fixing my hair says, ” A lady can change everything, even her looks and complexion because of a man. If the same lady knew her worth, a man who knows and sees her worth will find her. ndoa bora ni ile Mungu mwenyewe amefunga. wanawake wanaishi kuvumilia tu ata hakuna mapenzi wala kumcha Mungu kwa wake na kwa waume. Hakuna ndoa ya thamani siku hizi. mchezo wa karata tu.” This lady is Rwandeese.

Islamic Marriage Quotes for Husband and Wife are About Marriage In Islam with Love, Islamic Wedding is a blessed contract between a man and a woman(Muslim Husband and Wife) Why islam is anti valentines day?,  #about #husband #islam #islamic #marriage #quotesSisters, let the man seek Allah in order to have your heart!   #Love #IslamicMarriage #Faith#213 The Quran 07:189 (Surah al-A'raf) He created you from a single soul, and from that soul He created his mate that he might dwell in serenity with her.

Mrs. Ogweno, she is literally my mum. My teacher back in high school and any state house girls’ alumni will tell you that she is a powerful, prayerful lady. We talk on phone about stuff and her words, ” Keep holding onto God because only He will fight your battles. Spiritual attacks are everywhere especially in marriage. Pray for your destiny, for your children, for your marriage, for your spouse.” Sunday morning as my mum and I talk about the week and work she tells me how my grandma was asking  if I have a potential guy and she insists that I need to talk to her. Grandma talks about so much and going round in circles and finally she asks, ” Kuna kijana Mungu amekujalia naye?” (Is there a good guy that God has attached you with?)  Fast forward she then tells me, ” pick your friends wisely and surround yourself with ladies of character. Mungu atafungua milango lakini ndoa iliyo bora, Mungu ataifunga. Vijana kazi ni kudanganyana na uwachwe na mimba hapo. Amka usiku na uombe. zingira familia yako maana wewe kama msichana, wewe ndio boma .

 https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/e9/0b/5ce90bfdcfe189b093dd43500b01e01e.jpgThe closer you get to Allah The closer you get to each other.   A family that prays together, stays together.Muslim couple ... just before wedding night ... Praying for the blessing of Allah

These are events happening in the same week. All these advises stemming from aspects of God. A lady in the salon even goes ahead to teach on how having sexual encounters with people means that you are giving away your soul. “You literally carry souls of different  people and their baggage. soul ties. This means that you will carry their curses, frustrations, negativity and that is why we have mental issues in this generation as the root comes from the filth of sleeping around. God wasn’t stupid when He said that a man and his wife become one but not only the flesh is involved but the spirit. ”

These 16 marriage Bible verses have been such a blessing in my life! Studying what the Bible says about marriage can help us stay focused on the purpose of marriage. #Christianmarriage #Bibleverses #marriage #marriagebibleverse via @moneywisesteward

(Ephesians 5:31, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”), and the Godly soul tie between a husband and the wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). However, when a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, an ungodly soul tie is then formed (1 Corinthians 6:16, “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”). This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to ‘bond’ or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented.

My thoughts: Everyone is out there searching for the one instead of praying for the one. This is a generation where divorce is so normal that if you hear of it, it’s no longer a shock. Gone are the days where family and marriage was sacred. This is a generation where spiritual aspects has flopped and hardly do people pray for one another. Important occasions like baby showers should even have a prayer time to pray for the mother to be and the unborn. who hold baby showers? ladies. Then if these ladies can’t pray for this occasion then what went wrong? This is a generation where LGBT  is normal and we shouldn’t judge but where exactly is the root of this?  This is the generation where staying in marriage for more that 10 years is a miracle and yet our parents and grandparents lived together till death. This is also the generation where men don’t practice chivalry and women have let their guard down forgetting to whom they belong.

Quotes About Love  HELP FOR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS!35 Prayer Quotes Be Encouraged and Inspired 26

To the men: There’s nothing as sexy as being prayerful. Get you a girl who will make a home and it can be whole if God is in the midst. Words of a man I know, ” Twali if that guy doesn’t have a relationship with God, isn’t blunt with you from the start and doesn’t come here to meet me… run! A player will settle down at some point but with a wife material and we can bet.” Subaru guys don’t end up with socialites but why then ruin a girls life whose intention was to love you? well… pray and while you pray, I hope the tears of that lady wouldn’t break your  marriage too. Settle if you must, I know you are picturing your mum, so find her. It is up to you to break some chains, cycles… those generational curses but find you a spouse who knows how to break them too.

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.

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Thank you for reading.

 

 

Tall, masculine, authoritative, handsome and well groomed guy he is. He is a bad boy, party animal and these guys you’ll just never understand their thought patterns and it drives ladies crazy as hell. Mr. Subaru guy, I call him that because of his addiction with Subaru since I knew him a couple of years back. This guy has just decided to be a beard gang and it makes him more crazily sexy or attractive I must say. His dress code on weekdays is always blue suit on Mondays and smart casual on Fridays. Black shirt, blue pair of jeans and black suede loafers is what he wore on this particular Friday evening as he came from work.

bearded sign BEARD RULE SKULL tshirt men soft Breathable comfort t shi – eticdress

Mr. Subaru guy is driving a blue Subaru with sound system as crazy as Rongai matatatus and definitely listening to south African house music. We met eight years ago during those family introductions of  ” a two year old being called grandfather because of clan integration type of thing.” He was a Strathmore student then and I was in form three but had amazing chemistry. When he talks, you listen because of the command of his voice. He knew he was handsome and well, life smiled at him in every aspect of life and most especially financially. So he picks me up at Nation media group just opposite tribeka in CBD and I had no idea of where we were going but hey, who wouldn’t want an adventure on Friday evening?

Ethan is not his real name. Ethan didn’t seem too happy this time but I keep my composure. He drives off  quickly and he says “hey Twali…its been a minute. Tunaenda kilimani.” I didn’t even ask to whom or why but I’m fine though something is definitely off. Ethan was the guy who would literally get any chic he wishes to and he will wrap you in his little finger but DISCLAIMER: ” no emotional attachment.” Good boys ain’t no fun and weirdly good girls always attract the bad guys. Ethan is definitely a fun guy and has this ” Tom Ombijas” voice. The kind of guys you can’t question whats wrong with their anatomy but that is as far as I know.

On our way to Kilimani, we have small talk of catching up about the hustle and bustle of life but he responded with ” Twali this time I’m hooked “. For some reason I thought it had something to do with drugs but it was a woman. What woman caught his attention while he’s equally like Shaffie Weru? This is the  biblical Solomon of this city and I don’t know how we are close as friends or relatives but women have definitely sworn they don’t want men in their lives because of him or sworn that all men are dogs because of him.   Heart Broken Girl Crying | This "sad anime girl crying" picture was created using the Blingee ...Big girls cry when their heart is breaking.

He takes a detour and we are at Ngong road and all of a sudden I’m eating at Westlands. I now decide to cut the chase and asked him why he really wants to talk and why he is irritable. He starts with ” you are my younger siz with Oprahs brain and you’re easy to talk to but much as I am way older, I’m not okay. I think God has punished me or I’m waiting for more Tee.” I put my piece of cake, carrot cake to be precise down. I,m now very concerned. ” Is it cancer or Aids ? Has he lost his job?  Is it about the woman he is hooked with? Ethan laughs a lot and he is those my guy your guy type of people. I now stretch my hand to him and without blinking I tell him to speak.

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The chilled party animal guy just an hour ago changes his facial expression and he tells me he’s going through depression because nothing in his life makes sense and this has been the case for a while. He opens up to tell me that guys are in bars because of issues and women are in night vigils because of issues. People are in clubs to act fine and we screw around because we aren’t fine. Consequences are severe Twali apart from the women who opt for night vigils. He says ” I think I’m alive because of mums prayers.” “I love a woman Twali. She is sweet, smart , beautiful, doing her post graduate at USIU and dark. Well I love her. I don’t think I have ever said that word meaningfully before like I do today but I do. I’m smitten. I want you to meet her. I wish she could teleport ” This is like a kaleidoscope I think.

“What’s wrong with being in love? How is that causing you depression because love is a beautiful thing. The thought of knowing that you mater to someone else and they think about you whether you’re fighting or not. I mean, whats the problem Ethan?” “She is HIV positive Twali and you know what that means because she just had a miscarriage,”He says. I honestly don’t know what is worse here. He is sick or he lost the baby. A single tear drops and he says write it on your blog so that I can feel better reading it.  Its karma Tee. I messed with peoples emotions and hurt women with manipulative words like ” I love you” then  the one I sincerely love is sick but I’m not sure who is the carrier because we both just got tested.

No advise is needed and I have no words for the first time in a very long time. I tell him to talk about it in the car because his emotions are all over the place. The good news is that his viral count is very low and he’s taking medication and maybe He might be fine. At this moment though, whats there for me to say? I ask how the chic is doing and he says “she had to go to taita for a while.” She is so good that we have each other and that is her reassurance. “Does mum know? Dad?”  He affirms with a nod and holds my hand. It is very nice to be needed and to be an easy person to talk to but sometimes….stories numb me.  Quotes life stress words 41 Ideas #quotes

“I feel like calling all those girls I have banged to tell them to get checked or to ask for forgiveness. I am so confused. I am more hurt about losing the baby though. This has taken a a toll on me vibaya sana. ” I hug him for a while because this whole time I am literally speechless. My words: At least she has reassured you that she has your back and even when the world seems to be angry at you, you have each other. The viral load is low and that is a good thing so do what you’re supposed to do. I got you…anytime you wana talk or travel call me. Seeking therapy is the best thing you can do for yourself. About the baby, she will conceive more babies and I am so sorry. I got you.

He drives to sarit center and he tells me he wants alcohol. I get pissed off so bad because he just said he is sick. Who does that? As we argue, there is someone knocking the window on the passenger side  and its a pretty lady. I open up and she smiles and says ” I am Ethan’s girlfriend. ” I am now more pissed off because I thought she is in Taita . I wanted to walk away and go home because it was 8p.m anyway and they both start laughing. ” Tee meet my fiance. Very confused I stare blankly  and the lady says babe you haven’t pranked her yet?  ” what the hell is going on?” I ask. She shows me her belly and she is pregnant. Ethan has always been a vexed kind of guy but who does these kinds of pranks honestly?  I have never been that mad in a long time. HIV stand for HE IS VENTING. This is the most dumb thing anyone has ever told me. It appears I was being pranked.

An Israeli Artist and His Wife Won the Hearts of Millions With Honest Comics About What It’s Like to Wait for a Baby

I take my leave though it took the couple a lot of making up to do.

Thank you for reading.

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TYPES OF MEN IN THE DATING SPHERE. Here is a link TYPES OF MEN IN THE DATING SPHERE. to a controversial piece and men keep asking for the ladies version of this. Something different and something fun. Who runs the world, girls…they say but not all girls do it. Let us talk about girls. Note: The names don’t necessarily mean that they portray a persons character. If you get a good wife you become happy, if you get a bad one then you become a philosopher. At the same time I think good is relative because one mans treasure is another mans trash.

Vanessa: Very pretty ,fun loving and outgoing. Do you happen to know of a girl who you can always call whenever you are low and they will show up with a bottle of wine or drop you a pin to meet them at a joint then hook you up with oga? Men love these girls for sure but who settles with them?

Maria: church going lady who can exorcise demons. She prays and fasts but her heart needs Jesus . They are religious but not spiritual then they end up with Brian because Brians are humble and nerds. “Brian” gets depressed because they met in the church but her character is pathetic indoors. Men please stop searching in churches and thinking lightning won’t strike you. Remember,demons are exorcised in churches and mosques.

LUCY: Hardly smiles and I have no idea why she is always in the front office or Mpesa shops in town. Always with a negative vibe. She works hard yes but she needs to work hard in the kitchen too and probably the gym. Advise: keep smiling and bring in positivity because when you attract it, it finds you too. No need to be salty Lucy….Paint the world yellow.

Jamila: She studies beauty. It’s always about make up then she has learnt to walk with blocked heels. She can cook but she’s lazy as hell. My advice to you doll is, there is so much in life than a fake face. Men love Jamila for sure then they realize she can never advise you about anything in life but she can feed your guests like no ones business.

Josephine: very chilled, reserved and sings in the choir. She is awesome and has a bond with God. This is reflected in her character and in how she relates with people. Very different from Maria but be careful guys.

Mitchelle: The life of the party and never dates young guys. She loves money and money loves her too. Any man aged below 40 is her ‘friend’ or ‘brother’. Sorry for bursting your bubble but your heart is meant to pump blood with this one. Feelings for her will break you to the core.   Happy rich successful senior businessman character with a lot of money vector Illustration

Sophia: You probably know of this cartoon. She is super sweet but always falls in love with Mr. wrong. Her heart gets broken because she loves 100%. She has a hard time letting go so she doesn’t believe in men anymore. Men be nice to her. If you find her shes a keeper. Good girls find bad boys and until you become a metal then you’ll eventually attract your type.

Maimuna: The gossiper. If someone talks to you about someone, be careful because because they’ll talk about you to someone else. She knows even the last time you ate fish in your home and if your husband is cheating or not. Honestly I love this girl because nothing passes them by .They are important but would you settle with her?

Linda: You will know everything about her life via social media. You will know what she’s eating, what she’s wearing, If she’s at whiskey river, If she’s broken up… you will know. Girl can you please get a life? She marries Martins most of the time. Why do you keep posting too much to people who barely care or know you in the first place. Thanks for the entertainment though.

Alexa: Very talented and fun loving. Never dates men. Relationships and attachments are completely not her thing . Has a don’t care attitude and you can never wrap her into your little finger. A lady in the streets and a freak…………but her heart isn’t for anybody. Men love her but get intimated by her. I love her too.

Grace: She isn’t sure if she gave her life to Jesus or Lucifer. You got to decide Grace.  Today she’s heading praise and worship and tomorrow she’s vera sidika. A fence sitter. She’s never even decided if she has a guy or not but there’s always a guy somewhere. If you end up with Grace, believe me she isn’t sure if you are the father to her children or not but bora uhai (as long as we are alive).

Lakisha: Drama queen I tell you. Don’t you dare believe you are the only man in her life. You are probably 5 of you and your tag is ‘my salon man or mpesa’. She will get caught by one guy then she will wrap you in your little finger and you are back at it. She is almost like Grace but the difference is that at least Grace pretends sometimes.

Sasha: She is always shopping at sasa mall and she doesn’t see the need of an education. Her dialect is a bit tricky and she can’t work either. She is a believer that it’s a man to provide. A medieval type of woman. Some men like her and some can’t stand her. I am a lady and I can’t stand her. Advise:” Your education will never wake up one day and say it wants a divorce or feelings have changed. Your papers will never cheat on you.”

Maya: She is beautiful, curvy, pace setter and has it together. I love this type of girl because she can’t give you a nonsensical feedback. She intimidates weak men. She has her own Benz and you can’t tell her nothing. She can smell a weak man from afar. Sadly what shows on the outside is a strong woman but she has a vulnerable heart and all she wants is a man who loves her and is committed to her only but she cant find him. At the end of the day our emotions are just like Eves’. A girl is still a girl even with success.

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Sharon: She’s like a snake in that you can’t know she’s slithering till she bites. She knows every old man with money and she can tolerate anyone with money but her life is short lived. Don’t lose your soul trying to compete with people who don’t care about you honey.

Vivian: Always competing with every other woman. If you buy new shoes, she’ll buy the same exact ones too. You have a new hairstyle today by next week viv will have the same one. She sucks up my energy. Have your own style doll. Keep it together because she wants you as her guy to treat her how someone else treats her pal. She’s toxic and believe me relationships are different. Who can stand this one?

Stalker: she will stalk your every move on social media and woe unto you if you break up because she will hunt down your new girlfriend. She will never let you go unless you are tough and stern. She will even text your new girlfriend or wife and still possess you. I hate her too. Let go and move on. If you are dating this one, run. Oh doll, have your peace of mind and let go of anyone who hurts you. Karma is a bitch served when cold.

Ashanti: She is from Nigeria but so full of life. Only dates Nigerian men and she’s a hard nut to crack. She will get you and she will have what she demands. You will always be on the move to please her. I’m sorry but if you play chess, shell will utter ‘check mate’.

Milan: Lives in Karen and studies aviation. She listens to artists like Daniel Caesar. Sorry broke guys because 10000 bob is her manicure expenditure. She’s so loud that you will notice her in every party just to get attention. Despite having all the money and being a party animal, she is damaged inside as any other girl. Good luck girl but have it together.If you are a broke man just scroll down.

Angela: Wild girl who’s always there to prove a point on how dangerous she is in the rooms. There’s more to life than biology….have a chemistry subject first because they will use you and dump you because they need you and by the time you know it, you are finding ex.

Arya: Super loud, curvy and fun loving. Has a kind heart than Maria definitely but she will make your brain jog. Almost like ashanti but the difference is she’s kenyan.

DIANA:  She is beautiful both inside and outside. She knows God and has a relationship with God. Very chilled but go getter. Passionate about so many things. A lady you can introduce to your grandmother and will definitely approve. Classy, simple and elegant is the perfect description for her. Advises, motivates and vindicates. Tender, cautious, teases and thinks. Does wine not beer. Does make up but subtle just to enhance her beauty. Wears to impress but never to flaunt. She speaks gently and shuts up when need be. More of  a listener than a talker. I promise you man if you get this one, please call me too because you just won a jackpot. If you hurt her then you are a disgrace to the male species.

After its all written and read, please remember that you are beautiful, precious and worth it and never let a human being trash you. Speak up when need be. Walk out when need be.

Thank you for reading. Subscribe to the youtube channel…Twalha Anene.

 

 

Whether you earn 1Million and someone else earns 10k, both of you are under the same sky and you’re both surviving but most times, the latter is more happy and content. I got an inbox  “Twalha please write about deceit and joblessness because currently I am jobless and I have a 7 month old baby and the father abandoned me, meaning I am a single mum.” This touched me so I will merge it with equilibrium of this life.

I met Kevin recently in town just opposite GPO where there is a bakery shop. Kevin sees me and he’s like ‘long time Twally.” Kevin was my classmate in campus but we were never close. Tall, light, now with a beard  and in official outfit but without a blazer holding a parcel. Kevin has this je ne sais quoi demeanor. Kevin told me he’s hustling and this is a term that most people use a lot nowadays to sugar coat that life is quite hard but I’m surviving. So we talk then he tells he’s actually looking for a job and he has papers in that parcel but God has his back. If God is all you have, then you will be just fine even if it seems to be too dark. I would rather you get a job from God than from man…just like having  a spouse. Have you ever noticed that people with adversaries are the most content people full of so much hope, let’s just say very optimistic. To be honest I wouldn’t wish the depression of unemployment even on my worst enemy but truth is, at some point in life, it’s a pill you will taste just so that you are kind and helpful to someone else. I have been there and it sucks. Just like the sun rises, so will you.

dsc_0414This is the time where almost everybody you know keeps off. You will call people asking them to help and their responses are ” send me your CV to my email” just to soothe you and to give you false hopes. This is the time where someone will keep telling you to remind them that they’ll give you feedback but will never call. All your friends will be somewhere and you are nowhere. If you know you can’t help them, don’t sympathize and don’t lie to them only to ridicule them. At some point you must taste it. Its like visiting someone in hospital, it’s easier being on the side bed than the bed itself but at some point you might find yourself there. Its called life. Take that jobless hustling guy for lunch because its hard under the scorching sun in the city of Nairobi without a a tall uncle or aunt. The worst is being compared to a person who tarmacked for 6 years or more. Through it all though, you will survive.

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We live in a world of narcissists where people use other people and break the other party. If you want fun take swimming lessons or go party but don’t damage peoples hearts. I think we all bring generational curses upon ourselves. We have all been broken or dumped and vice versa. It happens every second, everyday but to the men who leave scars and collect dust, do not underestimate the tears of a wounded broken woman because it’s only but a curse. Whether you left her while pregnant or not, as long as she weeps because you lied, betrayed, cheated or hurt her, well… start buying morphine because the pain you will at some point in your life feel will be twice as bad. To the lady who in-boxed me, It’s hard I know because its a battle of unemployment and being a single mum and this is hard but you will survive. Everything always falls into place and God is definitely watching over you. Its pain so deep that cuts across your heart and down you spine and the world suddenly has nimbus clouds formed in it but you will survive and this much I promise because you will heal. Allah says with every pain and hardship comes ease. To the ladies, always choose you first. He might bend you but never break because you need to cheers watching karma kiss at his door. BE A COMBINATION OF SWEET AND SAVAGE…ALPHA FEMALE.

EQUILIBRIUM OF LIFE.

What someone else is feeling now whether joy or sadness, so will you. Some people have never felt the wrath of unemployment but just before retirement, they get a blow of retrenchment or someone else retires, having invested nothing and it brings them back to the same point of the unemployed. We all must get to the top but lucky is he who knows the taste of the bottom rather than the one who will slip down the mountain like an avalanche. Like I said earlier, it’s easier being on the other side of the hospital bed than the patient but who knows what tomorrow holds. The rich and the poor will be distinguished by class but every single bone and part of their body functions the same and most importantly, they will both be six feet under when God is done with them because the depth is constant. 6 feet under.

Be kind when your friend calls you because they are hungry as its just a phase. The future is just too uncertain for you to be boastful in this earth. Thank you for reading…we have a date soon.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR,MAY YOU PROSPER IN 2019. WHEN IT RAINS, MAY IT POUR!

2018 was a year that I completely tried to improve myself and to be the very best that I could be . More of Blessings meaning more  lessons because where much is given to you then much is expected from you but lessons must be learnt. I am literally typing this not so sure if I got my grip but polaroid by Jonas Blue is playing in the background so briefly I will pinpoint my lessons.

  • ALLOW GOD TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES.

In the beginning of the year I was one normal human being with void emotions and lost soul. It’s like a losing hand or a root growing in concrete but I have never seen anyone who believes in God have a losing end. The catch is you pray consistently about it but never complain because we live by hope and every second of your breathe counts , till then, God isn’t done with you yet. So Allow God to fight your battles.

  • THE BIGGEST RISK OF ALL IS NOT TAKING ONE.

Be bold enough to know when enough is enough and when to leave. Be bold enough to travel solo and while at it, enjoy, learn, let lose and be content. I went for 6 solo travels and the joy and fulfillment that comes with it is exuberant. Meet new people and learn new cultures. whatever your heart desires, quench it . it succeeds celebrate and if it fails celebrate because at least you tried. its never that serious.

  • DO MORE THAN JUST EXIST.

yes routine is lethal and so are clicks. Most people are born original but die as someone else’s photocopy. Be the original you because everyone else is already taken. Read more and if you’re not much of a reader, kindly read my blogs and follow. I made sure that I read a book or two in a month as it is part of exploring. Life is more than work ,home and happy hours.

  • SELF IMPROVEMENT.

Whoever makes resolutions, follow them to the latter. Whoever doesn’t believe in resolutions , improve on what you already started. If you want to travel more, do it as I recommend keitan safaris. Point is, never get stuck. crawl if you must but whatever you do, keep moving. If you are in the same spot with the same character like you were last year, then there is a problem as you should be better.

  • no one can make you inferior without your consent.

Master this art of not allowing people to step on you. Stand up for yourself and they will treat you accordingly because you teach people how to treat you. I have personally learnt that I never allow trash thrown at me and I walk away from anything that’s toxic to me. You alone are enough and at the end of the day, God has got you. It may be ego but crap I don’t allow.

  • PAIN DEMANDS TO BE FELT.

There are always going to be challenges in life and there are seasons of joy and pain. Pain demands to be felt so feel it , heal and proceed. Everything will be alright in due time. God didn’t say it would be easy but He promised to give you strength If you seek Him.

  • LOVE COMES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

Someone just told me that love is a gamble. If you win then good for you, if you lose then you learn. If it comes, let it and if it goes, let it. Love cannot be limited and quantified so give it your all and if they don’t reciprocate it, let them go. love, love some more, love again and love again and again.

  • THE EVIL EYE IS REAL

Do you ever wonder why your mum will ask “how many people have you told this and that?” . The more you expose your life to people, the more stagnant you become. Not everyone is happy for you and not everyone you surround yourself with is for you. Stay low key sometimes. Observe couples who do very big weddings as compared to those who do it very simple…I know you got the answer. This I learnt the hard way.

  • GIVE TIME, TIME.

Chill, observe and be silent. It is as simple as that. Whoever wronged you, whoever hurt you give it time and it always bounces back to them but give it time. karma is a bitch served when its cold . Whatever is yours, will always be yours as long as its written but give time, time.

This year, we are all going to turn a year older. Most people will get married, some will get babies, some will get promotions, some will change jobs, some will fly, some will proceed with their higher education like masters and some will still be exactly where they were last year. Whatever you decide, be happy because in each year, we pass our death anniversary dates hence life is short. Have fun, let lose and be bold. Never compare yourself with anyone else much as it’s only human because we all have our paths .  Hang in there and your creator knows but you got to believe. kutangulia si kufika.

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AS  LONG AS YOU DON’T HAVE A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE ,YOU ARE SINGLE TILL FURTHER NOTICE.  “You have to kiss a lot of toads before you kiss your prince,”they say. The average woman will kiss 15 frogs before kissing her ideal prince and must fall in love twice with people whom will eventually heart-break her  and the third love, that’s it because all the in between are very crucial lessons.I am a sucker for good intellectual conversations . The kind of conversations that make you smitten even before you sleep and when you wake up,you both jog minds and speak about everything and nothing and silence is peaceful and comfortable , the one that creates in-depth inertia. let’s talk about these guys. Being a girl is tough.  IMG_1658

Mike: High school sweetheart who wrote you mails and made you feel like a queen. His mails created a spark and every girl in class wanted him because of his choice of words but probably he paid someone to write the letters. After high school, you part ways because things change and people grow.

Tom: The campus sweetheart who made you realize that you actually hadn’t loved Mike as you thought and it was puppy love all along. Truth is, Tom is a very important factor because he is the introduction to heartbreak and glossiness and he will drive you crazy. some girls stop their search from here like most parents while for others, the search continues.

JOE: The party animal who  is too cute for life. Always wears awesome cologne and he never disappoints with smart casual from the shirt, jeans and shoes. Most ladies flock around him and each girl wants to change him which is almost as impossible as stopping corruption in Kenya but its wishful thinking. catch this guy dead in a commitment.

DAVE: The broke guy who will always tell a lady to lend him cash while he sorts out a ‘deal’ that will never mature. Being a good girlfriend that wants to upgrade to wife material, you lend him but woe unto you because he will never refund the cash. You grow anyway and you learn that guys rarely wait for a lady to pay bills and borrow them cash if they have their “Bros” at bay.

MARTIN:  more of misogynous. This guy objectifies women. He will rate a girl based on her history(ASS) and future(BOOBS) yet he himself doesn’t look like he ever stepped in a gym. Has a 1pack and looks pathetic but he will be the first to judge whether she’s not curvy enough or thick enough. Talk the talk don’t walk the walk. If you want Beyonce, please look like Trey songs.

Peter: Always has money and will cosset a lady but he will never define the relationship ,so you hold on a little longer hoping and waiting but sadly, you are  just but another silly little naive girl to him. He is a philanderer who is too sharp that when he’s caught, he books you for a spa and sends you flowers to the office. At the end of the day, a girl is till a girl until one day, you wake up and realize your worth.

Abdul. The beard gang Muslim guy who’s masculine, puts a lot of detail on his appearance that hes unobtrusive. he walks passed you and you whisper to your girl ‘that guy is fire’. Lets just say hes a replica of Jidenna. Bad boys ain’t no good and good boys ain’t no fun. if at all he talks to you, his gaze will make you stumble and they know the charm. he will tell you exactly what you want to hear but there’s Maimuna, Amina, Aisha and lulu in the picture.

Jamal: Patronizing, conceited and vain . you are tired and you have a coffee date with Jamal. you will listen and nod your head more because he will talk more than our Kenyan trap king and throughout it will be about his “wealth and achievement”. people who got it,rarely talk about it simple.  Go home,shower and chill.

Jack:  best friends that every lady has. always an emotional fluffer. you want a hug,call him, wanna talk,call him. you need a favor,call him. does he like you? yes. do you like him? maybe yes but………………………….

Elba: like coffee, steaming hot with tiramisu complexion. Gym is part of him but mama will warn you not to get close enough but sadly you want him as your trophy guy so that all your friends turn green with envy whenever you tag babe on i.g.  These guys aren’t keepers and you know it but they boost your esteem because you can’t believe you attracted Idris Elba. sadly, he knows he can get Ann,Jane and Tasha anytime, will he treat you like priority?

Vick:  The “Bros over hoes kinda guy.” Always chilling playing p.s and minding his business. He will never notice you but after moving on, he runs to you begging for attention. He is a fence sitter . Today he wants you,tomorrow he doesn’t. Today he’ll call you,tomorrow he won’t. Today he’ll promise you heaven, tomorrow he’ll give you hell. ITS A MERRY GO ROUND AND IF YOU PLAY CHESS HE WANTS CARDS. you will both get dizzy. snap out.

Sponsor: I don’t know where this man with a belly like a pot was, when his guys were out heartbreaking  ladies. Mid-life crisis comes in they are all over luring themselves to young desperate ladies. He tries making some shitty dance moves while smiling at you as a way to get your attention. i just wish those moves he would have utilized them in his youth days . Truth is, he will never replace you with his wife and there’s absolutely nothing like free lunch in this life.

Mr intimidated: always insecure about everything his woman does. Your success will make him crazy and they are narcissists.  The type of men who abuse their ladies either physically, verbally or  emotionally. You will only feel intimidated or insecure if I am more of a competitor than companion. where were you when i was growing and developing myself? you should have developed yourself too.

Brian: very quiet, chilled and too smart but academic smart.  When it comes to dating, he’s a dating dwarf. Dating is supposed to be fun and let things flow so if it’s too much work, get out. Brian though is everything you want but communication is weird, boring and all you do is blue tick him,not because you want to,but because its easier than riding a kart instead of a Ferrari.

Jeff:  Every Saturday afternoon he will call  “where are you? I need to cook for you and we can do Netflix”  . Jeff will never have anything substantial to offer other than ‘Netflix and chill” after chilling, you will pay for your uber and he will cut communication till after a month when the ladies in his contacts have plans so he remembers your existence. love yourself enough . If he wants thighs and breasts, KFC does deliveries unless you want to .

Kevin: has so many esteem issues from the moon and back. yoh! a woman’s job is not to baby sit you all the time and to massage your ego. whether you’re short,tall,fat,skinny be you and be alright with it. be with someone who loves you for who you are and not with someone who will always compare you. be you.

WEIRDOS: the Nigerians who are all over. you’re at brew bistro, a lad comes to you claiming his father is a king . why is he in Kenya? yet his dad can organize a dance for all the beautiful ladies from his village? all he has to do is choose. the Congolese are here too.  a guy with rainbow colored clothes and dyed Mohawk hair who approaches you the world, run!

Prince: Finally he comes along. Its like he was watching you and laughing out loud while you kissed frogs.He pops up after you have given up with love and silly conversations. he is persistent and you give him the last shot. He is gentle, treats you with respect just the way he’d want his mum and sisters  to be treated. You become his muse, priority, compass, best friend and silence is comfortable. He’s never scared of showing you off to his family and friends. you’re smitten and so is he then you realize that all the rest were important because its a sign that the search is over. you’re in a good place and he sees his future in your eyes and happy ever after actually exists in your book the day you stand before God and family to declare your vows. I ain’t saying its a bed of roses but there shouldn’t be regrets even during the storms. WHEN HE COMES YOU WILL KNOW.

my point is, don’t say you love her or me, unless you do. don’t promise me tonight without tomorrow. don’t say you need me, unless you act like you do. if you’re a guy who’s over 25 and acting like a boy,style up because it’s about time. IMG-1495

 

 

Good guys still exist. Gentlemen still exist and this true based on the parents who raised their sons well. First of all religion has nothing to do with taming of a man. Muslim or Christian, a man is tamed by his thoughts and self-discipline. I know muslim guys who will be in the mosque for all the 5 daily prayers and are the most promiscuous people on the surface of the earth and I know pastors and youth leaders who are the most shallow minded creatures .so long as a man isn’t sober, by sober i mean the  sobriety of the mind type of thing, nothing will ground or tame a man with a thinking of a kindergarten child. Let’s talk.

This topic was entirely based on an argument I was having with three very cool guys. sitted at an event with chairs covered on gauze, having hors d’oeuvre as we checked out a pretty lady across our table. To be honest  I believe I am past the age where I have baseless arguments on how a man is to treat a lady and vice versa and the expectations of guys towards a lady plus humdrum discussions on finances between a woman and a man. Its like a moot point of who came first, chicken or the egg?

I am not Steve Harvey, sheikh or pastor to tell guys about what’s expected of them. There are a couple of things though that I know men are certain about.

  1. If a guy wants you, he wants you. simple. If that man has to walk from the moon to your house, he’ll find a way and No is never an answer.
  2. If a guy wants to settle and start a family, believe me, he will. Finances and other stratagems never play a major rule. how he treats you, is exactly how he feels about you. this point is across the board for both genders.
  3.   A guy won’t cheat on you just if he doesn’t want to. He thought about it, he hid while doing it then he gets caught and he will give you a bunch of excuses.
  4. Men cry too. Men are actually more emotional than women but society has molded them to never express emotions.
  5. A guy will look good for a lady he’s attracted to. oh! we actually notice. We do get impressed . If he isn’t  trying as much, maybe you shouldn’t try as much either.
  6. It takes a lady 4 minutes for a lady to rate you on your first date. I am surprised that guys actually know a classy lady from the first words she speaks during a date. If so, why do we settle for less?
  7. No matter how good looking a girl is or how intelligent a woman is, you can’t keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept. jay -z cheated on Beyonce remember? A stupid man will base arguments on African culture and the same man believes in God. If you believe in God, we can argue with verses and if its based on africanness then stop going to church or mosque and take a stand.

The uncertainties about men are however  major. A guy would actually love you and after 10 years you might discover that the same man has another family somewhere else. The family of Quincy Timberlake and Arunga is a good example. Muslim or christian, promiscuity is entirely on an individual. what exactly does the other woman have that isn’t given to you by your current lady? The grass is never green on the other side sometimes. Men from the coast and Nyanza have got stereotypes so scary but then again its based on an individual.

If its matters of spiritual contexts. genesis has clear indications of Adam before God gave him Eve. This is in both books of the Abraham religion. controversy of Muslim men, yes you can marry 4 wives but with very strict conditions and rules. The prophet married one wife and she died but before marrying Aisha, he stayed for a very long period of time just grieving. The bible has over 25 verses talking about adultery and the Quran speaks harshly of adultery so this is why I insist, religion is just but a guideline . A man is tested by power and wealth. when a good man walks in a hall, your instinct is your guide.  how he handles the women around him, how he treats you because that shows how he feels about you and self discipline. i think thats a measure of a a man.

The topic is quite diverse. we have a date soon as we speak on categories of men. types of men you will meet in your dating sphere.

thank you for reading.    19c79bc4-ff93-4312-afba-1a87ae85a4cf

 

 

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