Good guys still exist. Gentlemen still exist and this true based on the parents who raised their sons well. First of all religion has nothing to do with taming of a man. Muslim or Christian, a man is tamed by his thoughts and self-discipline. I know muslim guys who will be in the mosque for all the 5 daily prayers and are the most promiscuous people on the surface of the earth and I know pastors and youth leaders who are the most shallow minded creatures .so long as a man isn’t sober, by sober i mean the  sobriety of the mind type of thing, nothing will ground or tame a man with a thinking of a kindergarten child. Let’s talk.

This topic was entirely based on an argument I was having with three very cool guys. sitted at an event with chairs covered on gauze, having hors d’oeuvre as we checked out a pretty lady across our table. To be honest  I believe I am past the age where I have baseless arguments on how a man is to treat a lady and vice versa and the expectations of guys towards a lady plus humdrum discussions on finances between a woman and a man. Its like a moot point of who came first, chicken or the egg?

I am not Steve Harvey, sheikh or pastor to tell guys about what’s expected of them. There are a couple of things though that I know men are certain about.

  1. If a guy wants you, he wants you. simple. If that man has to walk from the moon to your house, he’ll find a way and No is never an answer.
  2. If a guy wants to settle and start a family, believe me, he will. Finances and other stratagems never play a major rule. how he treats you, is exactly how he feels about you. this point is across the board for both genders.
  3.   A guy won’t cheat on you just if he doesn’t want to. He thought about it, he hid while doing it then he gets caught and he will give you a bunch of excuses.
  4. Men cry too. Men are actually more emotional than women but society has molded them to never express emotions.
  5. A guy will look good for a lady he’s attracted to. oh! we actually notice. We do get impressed . If he isn’t  trying as much, maybe you shouldn’t try as much either.
  6. It takes a lady 4 minutes for a lady to rate you on your first date. I am surprised that guys actually know a classy lady from the first words she speaks during a date. If so, why do we settle for less?
  7. No matter how good looking a girl is or how intelligent a woman is, you can’t keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept. jay -z cheated on Beyonce remember? A stupid man will base arguments on African culture and the same man believes in God. If you believe in God, we can argue with verses and if its based on africanness then stop going to church or mosque and take a stand.

The uncertainties about men are however  major. A guy would actually love you and after 10 years you might discover that the same man has another family somewhere else. The family of Quincy Timberlake and Arunga is a good example. Muslim or christian, promiscuity is entirely on an individual. what exactly does the other woman have that isn’t given to you by your current lady? The grass is never green on the other side sometimes. Men from the coast and Nyanza have got stereotypes so scary but then again its based on an individual.

If its matters of spiritual contexts. genesis has clear indications of Adam before God gave him Eve. This is in both books of the Abraham religion. controversy of Muslim men, yes you can marry 4 wives but with very strict conditions and rules. The prophet married one wife and she died but before marrying Aisha, he stayed for a very long period of time just grieving. The bible has over 25 verses talking about adultery and the Quran speaks harshly of adultery so this is why I insist, religion is just but a guideline . A man is tested by power and wealth. when a good man walks in a hall, your instinct is your guide.  how he handles the women around him, how he treats you because that shows how he feels about you and self discipline. i think thats a measure of a a man.

The topic is quite diverse. we have a date soon as we speak on categories of men. types of men you will meet in your dating sphere.

thank you for reading.    19c79bc4-ff93-4312-afba-1a87ae85a4cf




  1. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿, loving the uncharted sphere already, waiting zealously for the ones to follow. 😊

  2. Men cry too. Men are actually more emotional than women but society has molded them to never express emotions

    But my grandpa told me MEN DONT CRY LOL..

  3. As they say boys will always be boys. We are wired differently and thus y the uncertainty is more profound to certainty. Keep the conversation.

  4. Being good scares ladies off, but again every cry of a lady is to get a good man but still they end up with the same person who cheats on her, beats her, then they come to the good guy to complain about all that.

    Nice peace though, it has been Long

    ….Linus N.

    • oh really now. i raise a a glass of the finest wines to the people who raised you then.

  5. Wow.. The choice of words…the flow.. A touch of class… You have grown.. In literature and topics

    • youve seen me grow and am grateful that you have read each piece from day one. most awesome soul Dennis. tank you.

  6. Wuod Okuyu Nyakwar Gitau Reply

    Finally after a long break your back. ..Awesome I enjoy your thoughts and how you pen them . What has caught my Attention is ‘ if A Man wants you. He wants your absolutely correct. As undocumented wise Man Once said ” A faint Heart Never won a Fair Lady ‘ 😉 As a point of correction Prophet Mohamed may the Peace of Allah be upon Him. .didn’t Marry one wife. .Infact our Mother of Believers ” Aysha may the blessings of Allah be with her. …encouraged Muhammad to Marry more wives. . 11 in Total 😉

    • hamza read precisely what i said. every wife had a good explanation to the story. thank you. i am back. will try being as consistent as possible this time.

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