“Some feel the rain while others get wet .” Bob Marley. I have never seen him in this state of excruciating pain before and it was sad that there was absolutely nothing I could do to ease the pain. The thing about pain is that only you can feel it even when everyone else is sympathetic, pain demands to be felt. Feel the pain and you’ll heal. A man will feel disappointed in life either if he lets down his family by lack of providence or betrayal from the woman he loves. “The baby unfortunately is….”

Ethan is a man I have mentioned before. The link to this story is https://twally.co.ke/mr-subaru-guy/. The guy who loves cars, parties and ladies but got smitten by a rare breed. He called me on this slow Sunday mid morning while I was reading A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS BY KHALED HOSSEINI. I remember I was in chapter 30 and I was intrigued by the awesomeness of the writer. My Sundays are normally chilled and easy so I choose to spend more time with family and my books. He told me he’s at our gate and I could tell from the stutter of his voice that he’s tipsy and something was off. I couldn’t imagine it being another prank because of the seriousness of his voice. I was in black sweat pants and a T-shirt so I went outside hurriedly.

Ethan was in a bad state. Shaggy unkempt hair, had a bottle of Jack Daniels on the passenger seat and he’d worn black shades for some reason. I go towards the drivers door to say hi and he just said ” Twally I can’t take it anymore. Everything is crushing right in front of me.” I remove his shades and his eyes were beetroot red either because of lack of sleep or liquor but on second thought, he could have been crying. This is one of the most vibrant people I know. He gets into a room and he illuminates joyful ambience. Everything about him is a happy soul . I invite him inside the house but he declines so I tell him to give me a minute I change and put myself together so that I can drive him.

We exchange seats and I drive him although he hates it when I’m on the wheel because I’m too cautious (slow). I play some music just because the mood is tense but the minute I reversed the car, he started crying and he said that the DNA results were out. What do you do when a man sheds painful tears and out of everyone they could have talked to, they choose you ? I couldn’t even tell him to pray and I Chose to pray for him instead there and then and I drove off. I play Tupac and he starts singing along to ‘dear mama’ and in chorus we all sing along “the plan is to show you that I understand.” He drank too much until I had to take the bottle from him. I was honestly driving with no sense of direction and my co -driver didn’t seem to care at all.

I pulled over at Masai lodge because of serenity. I needed to listen to what a broken man had to say but by the time we arrived he was asleep. I went in and ordered food because it takes some time for nyamachoma (roasted beef) to be ready and I let him sleep in the car. When the food was ready he was up and he was a bit better. We have lunch and he says ” men are in bars because of women. I loved this chic Twally but she fooled me. Do you remember the first time I introduced you to her at sarit ? ” I nod with this faint expression. ” This chic bana has been fooling me. You know I once caught her with this guy from the office and their body language was just off. How do you explain that your colleague has his forehead pressed on yours and you’re in the office. I had f***ng gone to the office to take her for lunch because I was in Westlands that day.” I nod attentively but busy munching becauseI wasn’t going to have cold food plus I’m a fast eater.

“Did you question her about it ?” He looked at me aimlessly as if trying to remember if he actually did. ” Imagine I had let it slide. I called her phone and told her to turn and when she saw me she was uneasy as hell. We left but that day was awkward because it was less talk and more panic at least for her. I guilt tripped her with silence.” I interject and I tell him that if something is off talk about it and solve it instantly. ” I developed trust issues with her when I saw the same guy dropping her off at my place in the morning on a Saturday because they were out partying as a department. She had said it was a work thing. This mama lied that she had ordered an uber. I told her that the guy looks familiar and she caused tantrums saying she doesn’t cheat.” At this point I had cleared my plate and he was halfway there so I suggested that he should eat. ” When you’re taken for dates you finish before the guy? Don’t embarrass men like this .” I laughed it off by saying I’m actually fast.

I could feel that he was getting better after he cleared round two. And had a litre of keringet bottle. Talk to me …enhe…” the office overtime hours became longer for her. She was just missing in action almost all weekends and I would chill with the boys more instead. Maze this whole time I chose not to play her though there were fly chics after me. You know when you get into a relationship that’s when people are on your case more?” I agree. When you’re single the phone is dry…immediately you try something with someone the forbidden fruit tastes sweet. ” I had decided to change my ways completely but I started questioning if I want a woman who party’s so much as my wife. The day I wanted to call it quits is the day she tells me she’s pregnant.” “Were you excited?” I ask. ” For some reason Tee I wasn’t but I loved her. I chose to look at it from an angle of divine alignment. God wanted us to make things work. She moved in to my place and my family went to their place and I paid dowry. ” He broke down until he couldn’t talk for a while and he said ” when she gave birth to my son I was happy. I was doubting Thomas because the other guy from her work visited us so often when she was on maternity leave. My instinct was uncertain about the situation. Last week on Friday just when the baby turned six months she said she wants to go out with her colleagues. Sasa how do I baby sit when the mother is out ? (Rhetoric question) . I snapped and we had a heated argument then she bluntly said she’s not even sure I’m the father to Jay.”

“It was a night of terror Tee. ” I have never seen a man shed tears but betrayal is a knife that targets the heart, the soul and the body. ” So she suddenly became apologetic and I was there shocked as my heart palpitated. These are things you hear from other people or watch on paternity court or just movies in general. I am scarred. I am a wounded man. ” I felt his pain but I was numb to react too. ” So I drove off to get some air and I slept at my boys’ bachelor pad at Milimani. The following morning I found a note that she had gone to her folks place . She asked us to get a DNA test and my suspicions about the colleague was true. He was the other potential father. Today the results are out and I feel so lost.”

I dropped him home later in the evening then I took an uber from there and headed back home. How many relationships look so perfect but with so many dark secrets? How many guys are raising other people’s children? How many wounded men walk in these cold streets with no one to talk to? The DNA results shook us both. Men choose wisely.

Thank you so much for reading.


  1. Linus Atuya Reply

    Where is the second part? It doesn’t end like that

    The pain and that kind of disappointment hurts in a different way. One completely looses their focus.

  2. The darkest point a man can ever be. Betrayal by probably the one person you trust with your entire life.
    Nice read… Worth my time

  3. Betrayal is a knife that targets the heart, soul and body.

    Sad truth 😞💔

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