Nairobi is the capital city of Kenya. How do we know so much about Washington DC and New York yet they…(people from developed countries) have no idea about Africa whether it’s a continent or a country but sadly we are dependent on them. What pisses me off is why in this country we have adopted the pace of using cutlery instead of them coming over and using their natural forks, that is, fingers. Why can’t they adopt our customs just as the adage backs me up , “when you go to Rome , do as the Romans do.” That is why in every Islamic country, whether you like it or not, you have to adopt the standard of modesty. Well….she was numb but she was numb even before she learnt the cutlery tutorials from YouTube about using a soup spoon and a tea spoon. She was numb as a child and she attracted numb people who masquerade as energetic men in Nairobi.

Nairobi is a very fast paced city and it will have you on your toes trying to look for a side hustle. This is a city where all people from the village would rather settle in shanties but call home (village) claiming they are in Nairobi. Students in the public Universities especially from the village try so hard to impress but is it really to impress or fit in? She joined The University of Nairobi after passing her exams of course. This is the University that most students dream of joining just because of hearsay but the location too is wanting. She joined the school of economics at the main campus and her hostels were just next to Nairobi primary school. How do you tame a young lady who feels the need to style up , entitled to the party life and choked to prove her worth? How do you tame a young lady who grew up without parents but has her grandmother only in this life? How do you tame a lady that has the freedom and more time to search for the emptiness of her heart?

She wanted to fit in so she tried extra hard to speak eloquently but the heavy accent of the Abagusii wouldn’t let her. The ancestors demanded to be present in Nairobi and this accent is like a navel, even when you do your PHD it betrays you…well most of the times. Moraa is her name…Moraa Kerubo. A girl that has faced rejection so much that even when love is handed over on a saviette, she would decline because she has no idea how it feels to be loved in the first place. Her mind is her sexiest adornment because dammit she’s sharp. Nairobi will confuse you just as it confuses people with suitcases at Afya center or Tea room. Moraa met Victor in campus. Victor was struggling just as much to fit in and the ancestors from Meru demanded their land to be represented in this city that even scares people from neighboring countries. Moraa has this chocolate skin tone and shes curvy. Victor is this tall, light skinned and slim guy. All of these young people are trying to grow up but its scary to fit in especially when you have no idea how.

Campus love confuses every young lad that no one would separate them no matter what , yet it’s the opening of so many frogs to be kissed and encountered until you tell God “take over I surrender. ” The love blossomed into something “serious” but these were numb people who had so much baggage. They had so much to learn and sometimes you must be willing to be bare so that you can find healing. Moraa got caught up with knowing Westlands and Kilimani until one day she was called in the pursuit of ‘happiness ‘. During their party escapades she met this old chap who smokes Cigars only. He had a chauffeur, he wore this fedoras hats and he asked for her number. When an old man wants to take advantage of a young girl enough to be his daughter, the girl accepts but solely because she was wounded in the past and she tries to find fatherly love from a psychopath. A triangle was formed ; Moraa, Victor and the old man who’s name is Bazu.

Bazu is in his mid sixties. a man that has seen it all. A man that has so much wealth and property . A man that has a wife, sons and grandchildren. With all his money he was a lonely man. To quench his thirst for his loneliness he used money to buy people because ladies are so desperate sometimes, that the would settle for anything regardless of whether or not someone has a family. He had his charming ways as he would entice a woman with money and trips. Moraa being an orphan without that fatherly love, fell for his mans charm. She found a father in him and he found a mistress in her. A father because he supported her financially and emotionally and a mistress because he had wrapped her in his little fingers because anytime he was thirsty he would send the driver to pick her up even if it meant during her lectures. She was flopping in class and her future that her grandmother anticipated was jeopardized.

Victor being young and naïve follows suit on what most us do in campus. solving an identity crisis with the number of women you woo into your hostel . Victor needed a father figure but sadly the dad had left him and his mum when he was a young boy, meaning he was numb. There’s a generational impact with men dealing with daddy issues especially if they don’t find healing. This explains why so many black American men are in jails and looking at their history, 90% of them had no fathers. Victor had multiple partners while Moraa had Bazu who also had a couple of other women. This is a world where we fear pregnancies more than Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Two numb people who have lost focus in school and Moraa gets pregnant with the dilemma of not knowing the father of her child. Victor rejects the pregnancy and he becomes so aggressive that the girl becomes numb. She follows suit of what this college boy tells her . Victor suppresses her and intimidates her because of his own baggage-fatherless first born man. She’s in denial of the pregnancy and she has to visit the clinic at three to four months. She goes to the clinic knowing that her grandmother would be disappointed. Worn out, numb, broken and no clouds of silver lining she talks to the doctor. The first test was a HIV test which came out positive. So how many people are infected?

Bazu had started taking her out for dinners at posh hotels and that’s when she had to learn the YouTube tutorials about etiquette , the haves and the haves not and the dos and the donts. She would later be given a room and he would join her later. In the midst of the confusion the 2nd year economics student decided to end her life because it was too much to bear. All she ever wanted was to love and be loved but the universe had conspired against her. A lonely heart searches for solace like a root growing on concrete. Victor hurt her and he seemed to be moving on with so many ladies at the hostels. Hurt people hurt people. Lonely people look for love in every wrong place. Until you heal your past and be willing to surrender to your bare self that you need help, nothing on the surface of the earth would ever make sense. Relationships fail mostly because people are numb unknowingly. If someone comes to you and shares with you their darkest past just so that you don’t hurt them, please be good to them because no tear drop is unwritten as it will always come back.

Economics students printed out shirts branded with Moraa’s face. Everybody was at the burial saying how much they loved her . People wait until you have died to compliment you. Moraa’s grandmother was broken beyond measure. Sometimes people aren’t as strong as they appear to be. Bazu had the audacity to sponsor the funeral knowing well that he played a role in hurting her and destroying her dreams and goals. Life goes on. Victor in his depressive state was quite strong to deal with the fact that for the rest of his life he had to swallow tablets as per the regulated time. His state of denial was what he had to deal with.

Thank you for reading. Stay woke and be kind to yourself. Please subscribe to the pop up newsletter.


  1. This is a masterpiece, the build up is just perfect and to me it has just poped up at a perfect moment.
    Troubles of life

  2. Kenrayleigh Walloh Reply

    This piece is awesome, quit inspirational and educative. The plot flows like the source of river Nile,thumbs up Twally.

    • Its funny though how what’s dangerous feels sweet till it’s too late to change.
      Nice read

  3. Oscar Wafula Reply

    I love your style of writing. Kudos baby gal the sky is the limit.

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