The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It is greener sometimes and that’s why we thirst for change. I had a conversation with my grandma some two weeks ago and the fact of the matter is we are experiencing a quarter life crisis. Age between 21-35… it’s a struggle . My grandmas biggest concern apparently is when I am settling down in marriage. She is excited to really see a convoy drive in her compound for some reason which maybe I understand or maybe I’m downplaying her reality. I can’t explain to her that this is an era where men are complaining that Nairobi has no wife materials and women are complaining that all men are trash. Most men don’t want commitment and ladies feel they are so empowered that they don’t need men in their lives for as long as they are financially independent. This conversation was plateau because I wasn’t in the mood for an analysis of a good man and well…I was nodding my head as if she saw me but it was through the phone. She popped up a question ” bado hakuna mtu anakupeleka kunywa chai?”(haven’t you found someone to take you for coffee dates?”. If I answered in the affirmative then it would land me in more complicated questions and if I said No then she would hang up with utter disappointment. I was honestly fidgeting because there was someone who made my heart Duduke like simi sings. Let me tell you about this guy…
Most men wear navy blue suits and black suits but this one would blend in colors and luckily he never wore a suit minus socks. I have never been a fan of this Nigerian look but well, it depends with who stands out. I was in a meeting in regards to a merger of our companies. This man did a presentation and I was stunned by his diction. A man who reads a lot sounds like it. Chimano of Sauti sol has polished English because he reads a lot. Patrick Lumumba uses jargons but maybe we view them as jargons because we need an upgrade but he’s just fine. Most lawyers due to the nature of their jobs read a lot but oops! Not by choice they just ought to read a lot about statues so that they say “caveat emptor” . If you find a combination of a book smart and a street smart kind of man please hold on to that because there is potential for growth and this man was just that. Much as he was everything I liked, his suits were too tight. There were snacks after the meeting and we could have a tête-a-tête talk with the group and to my surprise, he walked towards me as I was serving tea.
Ladies have different types of smiles and I certainly put on the seductive one as I sashayed towards the table. A gentleman he was…he pulled my chair and offered me to sit. These kinds of chivalry make the back of my hair stand. He stared at me as if trying to figure out if my heart is bleeding, has bled or should bleed. This is a city where you should be open minded when it comes to the matters of the heart. One foot should be in while the other foot out . We talk and we lose track of time as we realized we had so much in common. He hails from the school opposite Wilson airport ( Sunshine school) or triple S. I on the hand is an alumnus from the only high school opposite the presidents’ home. I am modest but we all need something that boosts our confidence and this part of the conversation did me justice. He now says he was the deputy head boy and well… I write a lot because I was a captain of a room surrounded by books. We go on and on to a point of singing some Kwaito songs by Sun-el and he had the songs in his phone. At this point, I knew I hit the jackpot because Oh my! He prays and fasts too. My prayers had been answered and instantly my mind flashed to my grandmums compound until…..
He loves outdoors and this particular weekend we went to Ngong for some nyamchom (roasted beef) with some of his male guys making me the only girl. We blended well having very good interactions. I was falling for this guy faster than my heart was required to. He had worn very tight jeans which I hate because I would rather some fitting jeans. He had on a long white sleeved shirt and a black cap. His friends were cool…two guys but one of them was just too touchy. As we ate, this guy decided to feed my crush a piece of meat. I have honestly never seen such a thing before other than the movies of course. I was so confused but I let it slide. I let it slide for a minute because maybe there’s some story behind that act. It wasn’t merry anymore because this was a turn off completely. As we headed back to the city, he opens the car door for me which I appreciate because this is chivalry at play but then the guy called Tom whispers in my ears ” isn’t he cute?”. This was a switch from 100-0 in an instant.
It was a Friday evening and I was ignoring this man until he showed up at the office holding a bouquet of roses. The last time someone was this thoughtful was umm never! I was all happy feeling mushy then he told me to go out with him as we need to talk. He had worn a black tight official trouser with a black fitting shirt and a coat in his arm. The country had a 9 p.m curfew at the time . We headed to the parking lot and again, he opens the door. We drive to a restaurant in the suburbs and I must say I was impressed by the ambience . I’m nervous at this point because I feel he wants to make it official between us but I wasn’t so sure I would compromise on some of his characters. We have a couple of laughs and we talk about nothing and everything but I remember us talking more about this series called sistas and how Tyler Perry is dope. It then hit me that sistas is a chic flick series but much as we have so much in common these things were now a turn off. I had a bite of carrot cake until he leaned forward and he said , ” Tee I really like you and you are an amazing young woman. I want to settle down because I’m 29 turning 30.” Was this a proposal? I was sweating and at this point I didn’t want to tell him that a lot about him is making me uncomfortable. He continued to say , “you know we are Africans and there’s pressure from home. I have never said something that I should have said but you make me feel so easy. What if we just settle down but I have a thing for men.”
” what does it mean to have a thing for men?” I ask but I’m not sure I want to confirm his answer until he said ” maybe I’m into men. ” so I ask ” maybe?” . I walk into the washrooms and request for my uber. I feel saturated by this cycle . First…We like each other. Second…You get my attention. Third…We feel like this is it. Fourth… you arouse my emotions . Fifth) I’m left to figure out if he wants me or not. Sixth) I have to walk away without closure because sometimes you just have to be done and not look back. Finally…. I start listening to six degrees of separation. ON TO THE NEXT. How I wish I would switch generations with my grandma and maybe then, she would understand.
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