Men are going through so much beneath the muscles, the beard and their authoritative voices whether its bass or tenor, no one likes it soprano. This is a true story from an interview with Linus and with his permission. A man can cry 17 times a year but a woman can cry weekly the whole year. So exactly how do men vent out with all the pressure and the societal bar set for them.
SOME PEOPLE FEEL THE RAIN, SOME GET WET. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IN GOD AND SOME JUST EXIST. Linus is a guy who has been reading my pieces since the genesis of my blog. One of his comments baffled me ‘Twalha this piece is just perfect timing as I have been going through so much.” For a a man to admit that life is tough, then the tides were high and I asked him “whats your story? please start from the beginning.”
Linus: “Truth is, I am a good man but men have limits too. I have a son, but I can’t live with him because women can be difficult. Most times we complain that men are dogs but there must be a reason behind a cold heart. We just don’t wake up and become dogs. I started dating quite late because I wasn’t into commitments. My first girlfriend just dumped me before I joined campus and it was so toxic by the end of the relationship. I got a girlfriend in campus and it was amazing till I introduced her to my friend and one day she diverted his calls to my number and that conversation tore me apart. Its almost like cupid had bewitched me. I played along and she was planning to come visit me in campus but do more with my best friend. That was a turn around in my life and I became a man with no identity and I could talk women, sleep women and eat……”
SECOND CHANCES AND DECEIT.
At this point I actually got scared because nothing good comes from these kind of situations. Did you get sick? I asked. “I found love actually. She taught me romance, passion, trust, joy and happiness and I was her bait even though she was older but at that time age is just but a number right? She was in campus but I was in first year. I was in Maseno University and she was in Kenya polytechnic now TUK. She drifted apart and went cold turkey on me and one day her’ boy friend’, picked up her phone and I was crashed. Have you ever been faithful to a harlot? I had hustled cash for her birthday and that day I went out with my boys and we staggered… Lord knows what drunkenness can do. Men in the clubs and bars don’t just sit there sometimes out of choice but because of circumstances Twalha. I now became a bad boy. No strings attached kind of guy and I would date even four ladies at a time .”
CONSEQUENCES, THIRD CHANCES WITH LOVE, REALISM OF LIFE AND BLESSINGS.
Were there any consequences? yes. ” one day I stalked a lady on I.G and she was fine wine. Have you ever stared at the sunset while driving to an unknown while holding a beer can? yes…that feeling. I slid into her D.M and I realized later that she was in high school. I was in love again but this time both feet in the water but with a minor (below 18 years old). So one day when schools closed she agreed to meet me in campus and by the time she cleared, she was pregnant and I became a father. Talk about unplanned marriages and fatherhood. I am a student, jobless, clueless, confused and now a young girl is pregnant. I had to tel my folks but luckily they didn’t flinch and she moved in with my parents. Trouble arose between her and my mum but she delivered my son while still living with my folks. due to issues, she had to move out and keep up with her friend but I had to pass by and check up on them on a daily basis.”
POWER OF PRAYER, REJECTION, STRUGGLES.
Did you ever move in with her later and where is she currently plus you were jobless when she moved out so what happened? I asked. ” we moved from Maseno to Kisumu and things got rough Twally. No job, no money and we had to survive. I became a tout. A graduate from Maseno University now a tout. My family was in shock but I had to survive. I would wake up at 4:30 am and go to the main stage and I would beg the drivers to give me a squad. I had money and the survival was mouth to mouth and we lived one day at a time until I faced resistance from the squad who used to man the stage and I was beaten properly and I stopped the tout job. My face was literally deformed. I had suicidal thoughts but there is power in prayer Twalha. God loves me.”Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” – Corrie Ten Boom
BREAK THROUGH, ANSWERED PRAYERS, MOVING ON AND SURVIVAL.
Are you prayerful? ” I am prayerful and God has got me. Your blogs helped me much. Some people look up to you Twally and maybe that’s your purpose in earth. I got into depression because I completely had nothing yet I had a son and my then girlfriend to provide for. The breakthrough came after a month and a half. I got a job at a movie shop and it was booming and my life blossomed. Issues arose between my girl and I and she became physical and she had to leave. Ladies can also turn out to be physical that’s why we have Fatuma Zarika. The movie shop started failing and it was so bad that some days I got no coin. I had rent arrears for 2 months and bills were piling up. God answers prayers because at the verge of giving up, my sister called me and I had a job offer at some school for the whites. I became a teacher with no training in education.” MOST OF THE IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD HAVE BEEN ACCOMPLISHED BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE KEPT ON TRYING WHEN THERE SEEMED TO BE NO HOPE AT ALL.
NEW DAWN, PAIN, FAITH.
Sometimes troubles are like stairs, following each other to the top and its easy to give up but. be still and know that He is God. Where is your son? ” My girlfriend who had already left with my son called to say she was pregnant but I was sure it wasn’t my child. She had another man but she put a blame on me. She was scared to disappoint her family but the pregnancy was a difficult one. She had an ectopic pregnancy and her Fallopian tubes had to be removed due to some complications. I was broke that some times I would send my kid only 300 shillings due to the delay of salaries. To cut it short, my baby mama had to go back to school and there was no one to stay with my son. Her family didn’t like me but I decided I will live with the child.” Faith moves mountains. When you pray, believe and let go.
STABILITY, RISING AND HOPE.
In 2018 Linus became a full time dad with a full time job but had to balance. The kid was enrolled in a school.” I had to be a dad and I was proud of it. One morning I see cops in my house and my son was taken away from me after a year and she left. Till to date I never understood why she did that but I support of my son. My breakthrough finally came when I got my current job which is full of ups and downs but I survive. Right now I pray for a better job but at least I pay tuition fees for my son. So that’s my story.”
My point: Every situation leaves you with a scar, a lesson and a blessing. His blessing was his son. God has your back even when your back is against the wall. Its been a while since I wrote but young men have it rough but the beauty is that its your story, own it because it gets better. If you have it too easy, the aftermath will be quite rough. Have it tough now, learn the lesson, pray more and soldier on. It always gets better. Thank you Linus. Like I always say, It always gets better.
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