Do you have that week where there’s an array of similar talks or events happening in the same manner? I had this week where every person I met literally discussed the same things and I guess its about time we talk about a generation famished of spiritual grounding. Let’s talk.
Steve is my friend and a very mature guy who will always bombard you with wisdom and we met a year ago on a trip. Steve tells me he is worried of the kind of lady he will marry. He says, ” I was playing basketball yesterday and one of my friends was in such a hurry that I thought he had a problem. So I asked him if he’s okay. He told me that he had to sleep early because they had all been summoned by mum as she had organized prayers for the family the following day.” I was amused too and Steve tells me, “our mothers used to organize these prayer gatherings for the family but Twali imagine with this generation, how many ladies would think about such for their families? Which chic right now in this generation, will organize for prayers for her family yet all they do is take photos and live a lie?”
“She (my mother) became a warrior far superior to any epic hero. She became a giant on her knees. With a sword in one hand she battled the enemies of death and disease, and with her other hand stretched toward heaven she kept beseeching God’s help and His mercy.” – Bishop T.D. Jakes
Nina is a very close friend of mine and while having drinks at capital center, we talk about aspects of life. Nina is a lawyer by profession well…right now I am your writer but a procurement officer by profession. We get to talk about spirituality and life in general. We are both not married and we start a chit chat about the kind of men that we have in the society. “It is one thing for a guy to tell you to have his child and its a whole different thing when a guy tells you he is committed and wants to grow with you. It is also one thing to get married and live feeling you are single then it is a different thing to marry a guy who treats you right, makes you smitten and is yoked on GOD.” I say. Nina is a very straight forward lady so she tells me, ” We are in an age Twali where we need to settle yes, but why yoke your soul to the wrong person? There are so many spiritual wars that need to be fought so I would rather wait than settle with someone who is going in opposite direction.” This is a concern because how then do you fight battles in your marriage when someone is nursing a hangover and yet you are on your knees so much so that now he becomes an epicenter of prayer.
1 peter 3:7
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
On Saturday I go to the Salon and the lady sitting next to me is also talking about how marriages today have lost meaning and value. I’m not yet there but it becomes a forum of five ladies and I am involved too. The lady had come for a Mani-pedi and braids so hell yeah there’s time. Her name is Faith. ka mum let me ask you… “yes sure” I respond. “How many guys have you met that you can take home and tell mum that this is it?” wow ! I stare at her nails because of the choice of color but at the same time thinking because I hadn’t seen it coming …and I say none. All these ladies conclude that” generation ya hawa ni jamaa kuangalia upuzi , apatie dem ball then hatakuoa. wanaogopa majukumu na siku hizi majamaa ni raha. pesa yake ni ya raha na tusichana wenye wana ugonjwa.”(this is a generation where guys look at other factors other than character.They impregnate a lady with no intention of marrying her because they are scare of responsibilities. Men just want to enjoy and bang sick ladies). The hair dresser fixing the lady’s’ hair is called Adele and she agrees saying how ladies are being misused but it’s a woman’s fault. In her words, ” Twali you are gorgeous, umesoma, you are intelligent and you are kind. Don’t ruin your life because of a man . hata usiwe na stress mdogo wangu maana waume siku hizi hata hawafuati maamrisho ya muumba wao.” The one fixing my hair says, ” A lady can change everything, even her looks and complexion because of a man. If the same lady knew her worth, a man who knows and sees her worth will find her. ndoa bora ni ile Mungu mwenyewe amefunga. wanawake wanaishi kuvumilia tu ata hakuna mapenzi wala kumcha Mungu kwa wake na kwa waume. Hakuna ndoa ya thamani siku hizi. mchezo wa karata tu.” This lady is Rwandeese.
Mrs. Ogweno, she is literally my mum. My teacher back in high school and any state house girls’ alumni will tell you that she is a powerful, prayerful lady. We talk on phone about stuff and her words, ” Keep holding onto God because only He will fight your battles. Spiritual attacks are everywhere especially in marriage. Pray for your destiny, for your children, for your marriage, for your spouse.” Sunday morning as my mum and I talk about the week and work she tells me how my grandma was asking if I have a potential guy and she insists that I need to talk to her. Grandma talks about so much and going round in circles and finally she asks, ” Kuna kijana Mungu amekujalia naye?” (Is there a good guy that God has attached you with?) Fast forward she then tells me, ” pick your friends wisely and surround yourself with ladies of character. Mungu atafungua milango lakini ndoa iliyo bora, Mungu ataifunga. Vijana kazi ni kudanganyana na uwachwe na mimba hapo. Amka usiku na uombe. zingira familia yako maana wewe kama msichana, wewe ndio boma .
These are events happening in the same week. All these advises stemming from aspects of God. A lady in the salon even goes ahead to teach on how having sexual encounters with people means that you are giving away your soul. “You literally carry souls of different people and their baggage. soul ties. This means that you will carry their curses, frustrations, negativity and that is why we have mental issues in this generation as the root comes from the filth of sleeping around. God wasn’t stupid when He said that a man and his wife become one but not only the flesh is involved but the spirit. ”
(Ephesians 5:31, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”), and the Godly soul tie between a husband and the wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). However, when a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, an ungodly soul tie is then formed (1 Corinthians 6:16, “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”). This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to ‘bond’ or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented.
My thoughts: Everyone is out there searching for the one instead of praying for the one. This is a generation where divorce is so normal that if you hear of it, it’s no longer a shock. Gone are the days where family and marriage was sacred. This is a generation where spiritual aspects has flopped and hardly do people pray for one another. Important occasions like baby showers should even have a prayer time to pray for the mother to be and the unborn. who hold baby showers? ladies. Then if these ladies can’t pray for this occasion then what went wrong? This is a generation where LGBT is normal and we shouldn’t judge but where exactly is the root of this? This is the generation where staying in marriage for more that 10 years is a miracle and yet our parents and grandparents lived together till death. This is also the generation where men don’t practice chivalry and women have let their guard down forgetting to whom they belong.
To the men: There’s nothing as sexy as being prayerful. Get you a girl who will make a home and it can be whole if God is in the midst. Words of a man I know, ” Twali if that guy doesn’t have a relationship with God, isn’t blunt with you from the start and doesn’t come here to meet me… run! A player will settle down at some point but with a wife material and we can bet.” Subaru guys don’t end up with socialites but why then ruin a girls life whose intention was to love you? well… pray and while you pray, I hope the tears of that lady wouldn’t break your marriage too. Settle if you must, I know you are picturing your mum, so find her. It is up to you to break some chains, cycles… those generational curses but find you a spouse who knows how to break them too.
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
|And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.|
Thank you for reading.